Anxious {Chuuya Nakahara x Y/n(gender neutral)[ft Osamu Dazai]}

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@ABagelWith_Issues16 I know you like angst lol 

1st Person. Y/n's Pov.

Tired. That's mainly all I feel right now, tired and alone. Laying sprawled out on my bed like a starfish I stared up at the ceiling in silence. My body felt almost unbearably heavy as I made no attempts to move or break the silence, glancing out of the window in my room to see the sun starting to slowly descend. One of my hands, the one that hung limp off the side of my bed, clenched into a fist for no more than a few seconds before falling limp again. I wanted to sit up and actually do something to ease the suffocating silence but didn't, the energy just wasn't there. It hasn't been for a good long while.

Come on. How fucking hard is it to sit up?

Yet I didn't move. My stomach yelled at me to eat, that should've been motivation alone to get up and be productive. My face twisted into one of frustration at myself, I'm so weak. After a while my face fell and gave up the mental battle of trying to sit up, instead turning to lay on my side and letting both hands hang off the side of the bed. My mood fell from one of frustration to a more negative feeling as thunder clapped outside.

BOOM!

Rain started to fall as I stared at nothing in particular, listening to the rain's pitter patter against the window. Eventually my eyes flitted over to my desk across my room opposite the bed, on its flat surface sat a hat: a black fedora with a brown stripe around just above the brim. I stared at it until my eyes stung dry, hoping that it's owner would walk through the doorway.

CRASH!

My room lit up bright for a second as the building shook, making me jump nearly out of my skin. Finally, I sat up. Adrenaline coursing through my veins from the strike, that was really close by. I blinked as I turned to stare out of the window to see that sky, a relatively dark shade of gray blanket of clouds that released the pelting rain in big rain drops. I slipped off the bed to stand in place for a moment before stepping over to pick up the hat, holding it gently as I stepped back over to the window. Tilting my head down slightly my hand let the fedora fall onto my head, fitting almost perfectly as a tear fell, mirroring the rain on the window.

My love, I hope
you're okay.

BOOM!

"Here, you can have it," my ginger partner placed his hat in my hands with a smile. I protested but a finger against my mouth shut me up as he pulled me close. "You can give it back the next time you see me, it's only a five day mission."

"Yeah but," my grip on his hat tightened, "things don't always go the way they were planned Chu..." Worry was evident as I stared at nothing just over his shoulder only looking up to meet his gaze when he planted a kiss on my cheek.

"It'll be fine, I'm not a Port Mafia executive for nothing y'know!" He grinned, eyes closing for a moment before leaning in to give me a soft kiss on the mouth. "I'll be back I promise N/n."

Gurgle

A clenched fist lay against my starving stomach. It's been eight days, Chuuya, where are you? My feet turned before the rest of my body as I trudged out of my room and down the hall to the kitchen, after all it has been a while since my last meal. In silence I made a bowl of cereal and sat on the couch in the living room, it took almost too much effort to even lift the spoon from the bowl. I let all the intrusive thoughts swirled around in my mind as, slowly, I started to regain a little energy. Not much though.

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