18. Kinky shit

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I felt like I was in a good spot for the first time in awhile. Things were going better with Connor. He was still drinking and some days it was more than others but I'd seen him trying and that was more than enough for me. I also somehow got caught up on everything for my classes. I'd had some more time to do some work and study lately. Connor wasn't going out to party as much so some of those nights had turned into us, more so me, doing some work.

I was excited as I walked into Connor's house. At this point the Kingsley football house was my second home. I spent at least half my time here either hanging out with Connor or spending time with Dom, Callum, or Jake. And there was even the rare occasions that I forced Nico to spend time with me. He had fun, not that he'd ever admit it out loud. But there was one time I saw him crack a small smile at one of my jokes.

I walked into the living room to see a sight I was all too familiar with. Evan was laid out on the couch watching tv while Jake seemed to be taking a nap on top of him. It was rare to see those two apart these days, it was crazy to think that they used to hate each other.

I was just happy that I walked in when they were fully clothed. I was sick of seeing or hearing things I very much did not want to see or hear.

"God I'm surrounded by couples, I need more single friends." I complained and sunk into one of the chairs.

"You still have Adam and Connor. You guys could do like singles nights so none of you are the third wheel but I think at this point Adam might as well be the only one left." Evan joked.

"Connor and I are just friends." I didn't know how many times I had to tell my friends this but it didn't really matter because no one really believed it.

I didn't think I even believed it anymore.

"Yeah yeah." Evan just ignored my words as if they were nothing. "Did you want us to move so you can sit on the couch?"

"No I'm fine, let Jake sleep."

Evan looked down at his boyfriend with a smile. I watched him run a hand through the sleeping boys hair and I felt a little bit of jealousy at the action. What they had was something so special and part of me wished I had it too.

"Jake's not sleeping, he's just faking it so he doesn't have to be a part of the conversation." Evan chuckled.

"Fucking asshole." Jake muttered quietly keeping his eyes closed.

"I'm going to pretend to not be offended by any of that." I said pretending to be slightly hurt by the fact that Jake had been avoiding talking to me.

"Don't take it personally, he's just a little grumpy today. I offered to try to cheer him up but he's being a little stubborn bitch."

"I hate you, I'm leaving." Jake finally moved and tried to sit up and move away from his spot on top of Evan.

"Come on, I'm kidding." Evan wrapped his arms around his boyfriend holding him against him. "Go back to sleep, you don't have to talk to anyone I promise." Evan ran his fingers softly through Jake's hair.

"You guys better not have fucked on the couch again." Dom marched into the room with Callum right behind him.

"Hello to you too." Evan called out waved at Dom over his shoulder.

"Oh thank god they have clothes on." Dom let out a dramatic sigh of relief when he rounded into the living room to join us.

"Did you really think they'd be having sex right now when I'm right here?" I raised my eyebrows at my friend.

"I don't know what kind of kinky shit they're into." Dom just shrugged.

I wished I knew a lot less about the sex life of those two.

"You don't want to know." Jake said still pretending to nap. 

"Ooo well now I'm intrigued." Dom took a seat looking at the couple with wide excited eyes.

"I'm right here and I am very much not intrigued." I said hoping Jake had the decency to keep his mouth shut.

"I think there might be some things better left unsaid babe." Callum told his boyfriend.

"You're probably right, I think I might be scarred for life if I actually heard what those two got up to when-," he trailed off when there was a loud crashing sound.

"What was that?" Jake sat up looking towards the door.

I didn't hesitate. Something in me was immediately on edge. I think the absence of Connor in the house was causing my mind to go to worse case scenarios. I didn't know how my body just knew it was him but something was screaming at me to get outside. I could hear my friends following behind me as I threw open the front door.

I wished that the voice in my head was wrong. I had hoped that I wouldn't open the door to this.

Connors car was halfway on the front lawn after he had plowed it through the mailbox. I had gotten outside just in time to see him throwing open the passenger door and stumbling out of the car.

He was drunk.

Drunker than I'd seen him since that night I found him in the park. He'd been getting better but now it was obvious that there was no better with him. I'd just been biding my time until something like this happened again and again.

He could've gotten himself killed or killed someone else driving when he was drunk like this. There was so many things that could have gone wrong and he'd been lucky the only thing he ran into was a mailbox.

"Connor." I called out to him just needing to get him inside and safe.

He stumbled his way over to me that lazy drunk smile on his face.

"Hi jet plane." He practically fell into my arms.

It hurt to see him like this. It hurt to have to watch him waste away slowly knowing that unless he made the choice to get help I'd have to watch until nothing of him remained.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't keep doing this. I had to make a decision and unless Connor made the decision to get help I needed to make my own decision. One I didn't think I was strong enough to make.

It might finally be the time to accept I needed to step away.

A/n:

Sorry about not posting on Monday. I was really sick this week and I'm still not feeling 100% but I wanted to get a chapter out to you guys and not make you keep waiting.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
-Cora Leigh

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