Scintilla

7. A Look of Gratitude

Before

A cruel laugh resonates through the dark room. Father stands in the center his arms swinging, dripping beer all over the floor.

"You think you're so much better than me don't you?" I remain quiet. I know it's posed as a question but nothing I respond with will satisfy him.

"Look at yourself. Do you think anyone could love someone as worthless and disgusting as you?" It's fine. I'm fine. I've heard these words a million times before.

"You're so miserable and bitter and you will spend the rest of your life alone because nobody will love you. Think about it if even I can't bring myself to love you then who could?" It's fine. It's better if he continues to attack me. If he's focused on me then he can't bother mom who has to get up early for a four o'clock shift. The children are in the furthest room so they can't hear anything. It's okay. This is better.

***

"So, how is everything going," Stephanie's voice is soothing through the phone.

I'm curled on the floor next to the window on the furthest side of the room. I've been awake since Michael arrived. Three hours ago I headed down and prepared breakfast for everyone. Now I'm waiting for Amber to finish getting ready before heading into the city to look at bridal dresses. There's no noise coming from the room next to mine so Michael must be sleeping or working.

"Worse than I thought possible," I reply honestly.

Stephanie sighs, "It must be terrible for you to say that. Is it seeing them together that's getting to you? I'm telling you, you should just come back home."

"No, it's not that. I mean seeing them together is bad but I knew it was going to be bad when I decided to come down here. It's Amber's brother. He knows."

"What does he know?" Stephanie questions, bewildered by my vagueness.

"He knows I'm in love with Lucas," I whisper.

"What," Stephanie exclaims, her voice loud. "How on earth did he find out? Luna, is he treating you badly? Is he blackmailing you?"

"He's just good at reading people. He saw me interact with Lucas and recognized my feelings. It didn't help that we spend time at dinner arguing about the definition of love and friendship. He's just very sharp."

"Luna, I don't even know what to say. Is he being an asshole?" Stephanie questions.

"Well, he's not exactly treating me badly or blackmailing me. He's just very intense. He's not going to say anything but he also doesn't trust me or my intentions with the wedding. I guess from his point of view I can see why he's worried but it still sucks that he's misjudging me so heavily. He's going to stay here for the rest of the month until the wedding."

Stephanie sighs, "Even if he thinks he has reasons for concern that doesn't excuse any asshole treatment he might be handing out. If he's too much then you have to tell Lucas."

"I can handle him just fine and he's not being an asshole. He's just intense and it doesn't help that he's a giant." The last part is whispered as I hear Michael's door open. His footsteps are light for someone so tall as he walks downstairs.