What Are We?

Prologue

We are the last people in the park. Seems pretty typical if you ask me.  The sun went down hours ago on this mild December evening. Even though Ohio is pretty dull this time of year, no one with any sense would be wandering a walking trail through the woods in the dark, cold evening so close to Christmas. Which explains why we're here once again. 

It's a quiet evening. Even the wildlife seems to have gone to sleep. There's no cars honking or cruising past on the nearby roads. The river rushing past the rocks is but a distant whisper.  The only thing to breakup the awkward pauses between us is the scuffing of our shoes on the rough pavement. 

"Thanks again for meeting me out here Jenna," Charlie says at last.  "I've never had dinner at that pub before but all my coworkers recommended it. It did not disappoint."

I responded maybe just a little to eagerly to finally have a reason to break the silence. "Those wings were amazing! I'm happy I made the trip.  I'd meet you anywhere Charlie. I appreciate you buying dinner for me too. You didn't have to do that."

Charlie swats his hand like it's nothing. "It's the least I could do, really. Besides Mama would have changed the locks on the doors by the time I got home if she ever heard I didn't offer to treat a lady to dinner. Especially you." He looks over to me and I see a glint of his hazel eyes in the full moon's light before quickly looking away. Once again, we are shrouded in silence.

In no time at all, we've made it back to the bridge. Below us, the shallow water gently ripples over the smooth rocks in the bend. Straight ahead of us is a small town that we just had dinner in.  The roads and stores are edged in Christmas lights. If I squint, I can even see the Christmas tree  by the train station we walked past on our way out of the restaurant earlier.  I thought for just the briefest moment then that he was about to kiss me, but just like always he never does. But I don't know. Something in my gut is telling me that tonight is different. 

Charlie interrupts my drifting thoughts by clearing his throat. "It's beautiful isn't it? Hard to believe this whole river was once on fire." 

"Eh, I still can't see the bottom so if you're lucky history might repeat itself." I chuckle to myself  at the irony of knowing that I have a better chance seeing the river catch on fire again than I do of hearing Charlie say out loud what I've already suspected for years: he has feelings for me. 

I lean against the rail of the bridge and roll my  blue eyes for even hoping that tonight would be that night. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. More than anything, I want to hear those words drip from his lips but I know from experience not to get hung up on it.  Best friends don't just spill their guts out of no where. Friendships are a fragile thing and you have to tread lightly in order not to crumble the whole thing.

He  follows my lead and mirrors me by leaning on the railing, just inches away. He turns and looks into my eyes again, but this time he holds my gaze.  I catch him looking at my lips. Holy cow. Maybe this really is happening. He opens his mouth but closes it. Over and over. There is a thought so close to escaping his lips that I lean in closer trying to sneak a peak at what it could be. "Well just spit it out already. I'm getting older by the second." 

"You know, I've been thinking a lot lately. We've known each other a really long time. I'm pretty sure our friendship outdates iPhones and lots of other cool things we can't live without. I mean I can't live without you either. It makes me wonder-" Charlie coughs and starts to pull away. He starts fidgeting with his wool hat covering his short brown hair "Wonder if-" he coughs again and starts shaking his head no. "You know what? Nevermind. It's nothing. It can wait."

"It's okay really. What is it? I'm all ears." I playfully punch his arm and turn to face him. I look into his eyes expectantly, but he blushes and looks away. Maybe that was the wrong move. I quickly move my hand to brush stray auburn hairs out of my face. What is going on?

"It's just that-" Charlie nervously rubs the back of his head. "Sometimes when I see your face, and I look into those big blue eyes of yours, I start to think about all the things that have happened in the last, I don't know. Decade? More? Some great, some okay, some I'd rather forget. But you? You are the greatest thing to come into my existance in the last 13 years. And it doesn't matter how much I wonder about those lips that used to whisper secrets in my ears at after school. I'd never want to do anything to lose you. 

"Whoa whoa!" I put my hands out in front of me. "Where you just thinking about kissing me right then?" He nods his head sheepishly.  "Then just do it." 

"But what if we lose everything? What if all the threads pulling us together suddenly dissolve away and there's nothing left between us?" Charlie runs his hand through his hair and turns his back to me. 

"Then I guess you'll just have to keep them alive in your memory the way I do." I shrug my shoulders (not that he can see me in the dark). I bite my lip in anticipation of what will happen when he turns around, but instead he plops himself down on the park bench along the path. 

"And how do you do that?" Charlie says while looking up at me with his hands deep in his pockets.  

I sink down beside him and nudge him with my shoulder as I lookout over the water again. "Allow me to show you. Do you remember the day we became friends?"