No Solace (The Flames of Retribution - Book 1)

Chapter Twelve - The Dance

My path to revenge was traveled wearing dancing shoes. 

I would have to perform a dance that was meant to symbolize the importance of the Frelan to the Tavla in front of many onlookers. 

The Frelan was the first woman created by Tav, and she became Tav's wife. Each Frelan was thus symbolically married to Tav himself. We'd already gone over the steps for an entire week, but I was uncomfortable. I hadn't realized it would be so... physical. 

The first step of the dance involved a series of twirls and dips. The twirls were performed to make me, the Frelan, look ethereal, as though I was floating instead of dancing, while the dips and twists were done to make me look as though I was one with the Tavla. 

When it came to the twirls, they were only done clockwise and after each twirl I was dipped and twisted flush with the Tavla in an undulating counterclockwise direction. I was not ready for this. This dancing was too intimate and I felt like the Tavla and I were doing something wrong. I kept trying to tell myself there was no harm, that I wasn't hurting anyone, but my thoughts kept agonizing over Merx and what I was having to do in order to clear my name and return to him. 

After the tenth time practicing, I tried to tell myself that it was worth it, but I always balked at the next part. It consisted of the Tavla bending me back into a long kiss which was supposed to give me confidence before I was left on stage to complete the last part of the dance, which was done by myself with a fan.

It didn't. Each time he tried to put his lips on mine, I would turn my head. 

The more I practiced, the less confident and more apologetic I felt. I was dizzy from the spinning, and the music gave me a pounding headache. After the fifteenth time practicing, I decided that was enough.

"Xīwàng, I don't think this is going to work. We've done nothing but practice this dance for an entire week and I'm still no closer to being believable. I know I have to kiss you, but..." I closed my eyes and grimaced then gave him a look of apology.

"Why don't we take a break," he said with a slight bow. "I can understand how hard this is. It is hard for me as well.

If it was hard for him, I couldn't tell. He seemed unflappable.

He walked over towards me and put a hand on my elbow.  Then he guided me to sit down at the edge of one of the gardens near the square where we were practicing. The sun shined bright on us, but the lavender was in full bloom, and it surrounded us with a comforting scent.

Sera and Perron discreetly left us alone. Then, I closed my eyes and rested my head against the bench we were sitting on.  This was stupid. I shouldn't have agreed to do this. It just felt like I was selfish and greedy, grabbing for my revenge with no thought of what innocent bystanders I might hurt. I hadn't thought it would only take a week for me to start feeling guilty.

"Maybe this isn't such a good idea. I am okay with being a spy, but I feel horrible at the idea of lying to your people and to Sera's parents."

Xīwàng glanced away from me. "I promise that it won't be forever." He took a sprig of lavender and handed it to me with a gentle smile. "It will only be as we promised, and nothing more."

I wished I could believe him, but I was all out of faith in people.

The Tavla swallowed a chuckle at my wry look. "I am sorry. I don't have the same morals you have, so I don't think the way you do.  But, perhaps I can help you get through all this. Let me ask you some questions, if you don't mind? I would like to better understand how your circumstances led you to my shores."

"Go right ahead." 

"Tell me about your life, starting from the time that you first started to hide your mage aptitude until the time you arrived in Beltrit.