Ruthless Seduction

Chapter Thirty Eight

Axel's POV

I woke up and felt genuinely awful. It was much better when I was asleep, when I couldn't feeling anything. Right now, I could slowly feel it creeping on me, the chest crushing realization that Valerie wasn't with me anymore. Reality hits me harder everytime. It was like a reverse nightmare when the nightmare was actually waking up to reality.

I closed my eyes again to try to get back to sleep. I didn't know how long I layed there, all I knew was that it felt like forever. I didn't want to get up but the silence made me feel more and more alone, it was defeaning and the loneliness was enough to drive a person mad. I needed to do something. Maybe go out for a walk or run a few miles. I forced myself to get out of bed. I could feel the nothingness washing over me like a wave. The stress, the sadness, the anger, they were the things weighing heavy on me that threaten to break me if I let them.  

Being without her was like missing a piece of myself and all that's left in its place was a painful and aching emptiness. I missed waking up to her kisses, I crave her lips on mine. I thought of how we used to spend our mornings. How we'd lay together, wrapped up into each other.  It was like I didn't have purpose anymore, she as my reason for so many things and now she wasn't here anymore. I wished this nightmare was happening to someone else. I wished everyhing could go back to the way it was.

I took a quick shower and dragged myself out of the room after putting on my clothes. I decided I would go for a run to distract myself from my thoughts. Just as I got out of my room, I heard the pan sizzling from the kitchen. My heart suddenly skipped with hope. I was hoping I would see Valerie cooking our breakfast. Maybe she came back because she had already forgiven me.

I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could and my feet stopped when I saw who was there. I stood there for a moment, trying to take in what I just saw. Guiles was setting up the table with the food she made. She had a plate in her hand and was making her way to the table when she saw me, she stopped and smiled.

"Good morning." She greeted.

I gritted my teeth. I stayed speechless and motionless. Si Valerie lang ang gumagawa sa akin niyan. It made me angry to see that someone else was doing what Valerie does for me. I never want to see any woman doing what Valerie used to do. I never remember Guiliana making breakfast when we were still together.

"Pinakialaman ko na ang kitchen mo. I made some omelette and bacon." She said putting the plate over the table. "Kumain na tayo."

I took big, quick steps towards her and grabbed her by the arm.

 "Hindi mo ba ako titigilan ha?" My voice boomed throughout the room. "Wasn't everything you did enough?"

"Axel, you're hurting me." She squeeked, trying to snatch her arm from my grasp. I had never hurt a woman physically but I felt like I was close to doing so.

"Hindi ka pa ba masaya sa ginawa mo? Hindi ka pa ba masayang sinira mo ang relasyon namin ni Valerie? Do you really enjoy making my life miserable that much?" My fingers dug into her arm.

"I'm not willing to give you up if that's what you want or let you get away. Ako ang mas may karapatan sa'yo dahil kasal tayo. I'm your wife!" She yelled.

 "I want nothing more than to get out of this marriage and away from you."

"Let's give this marriage another shot, please, Axel. Let me be with you, let me show you how much I love you." She begged desperately. "I've learned from my mistake. I promise I'd be the best wife to you."

I shook my head. "Get out of here!" I dragged her by the arm to the door. Nagpupumiglas siya sa hawak ko and finally freed herself from my grip.

"I won't let you and Valerie be together, tandaan mo yan! Hindi kita hahayaan na mapunta sa kanya!" She angrily said.

"Fuck you!" I roared. "Kahit maghiwalay kami ni Valerie, hindi ako babalik sa'yo! I'd rather be alone than be with a cheating whore."

"You don't mean that." She gently said, slowly walking towards me. She held out her hand and lightly touched my cheek. "You're just confused. You still love me. I'll remind you how much you do."  She moved her face closer to mine and before her lips could touched mine, I shoved her away from me. She stumbled back and fell to the ground. I didn't mean to shove her that hard, it was a natural reaction. She stared up at me in both surprise and embarrassment.

I kept a hard expression despite my shock. "Get out of here! Umalis ka na dito bago pa kita masaktan."

"Please, Axel, let's just give it another try." She got up and tried to wrap her arms around me. Kinuha ko siya sa braso at kinaladkad palabas ng pinto. I shut the door closed and ignored her pleas.

Valerie's POV

It was nice to have a friend to talk to and get my mind off things. Buti na lang palagi nandito si David para sa akin. He was a big help to me. Today we went to town and had lunch at a restaurant. Even though I was with Dave, I couldn't  keep my attention to him even if I wanted to. My mind was elsewhere. It was with Axel. A part of me regret sending him away, I could've been happy with him right now and not feel this miserable but a bigger part of me told me I did the right thing. Niloko niya ako, I hated him for that. Ginawa niya akong kabit. It would be wrong to still stay with him. Hindi ako pinalaki ni dad para maging isang querida. Dad wouldn't say anything but I knew he'd be hurt kung sumama ako kay Axel. Kapag nasaktan ulit ako alam kong mas masasaktan si dad. It was better this way.

"Val, are you okay?" He asked as we drove back to our hacienda.

I turned my head to him and smiled. "Of course."

"Just know you'll be okay without him. Trust me." He said. The same lies I've been telling myself everyday.

I did my best not to let my voice quiver. "I know."

It was quiet for awhile. I looked out the side window and let the thought of him consume me. I thought I would start feeling better and become used to my days spent without him but I feel worse. I just felt devastated and empty without him. I never realized how full he made my life. I was angry at him but I knew nothing can change the way I feel about him and no amount of time can erase my memories of him even if I tried. He wasn't just the love of my life, he was so much more but he was never mine... even when we were still together. And that hurt like hell.

I felt my eyes dampening with tears and tried to swallow past the lump in my throat. I blinked away my tears and took in a deep and long breath.

You're stronger than this, Valerie. You can't keep on living like this.

I needed to get up from where I fell down and start over again. I couldn't live feeling sorry for myself my whole life. A part of me knew I couldn't wallow forever as much as I wanted to. I had to live my life. Kahit wala na siya, nandito pa naman si dad at ang mga kaibigan ko.

 His car stopped in front of our house. He shifted turning to face me and smiled.

"Thanks, Val, I had a great time with you." He said.

"I did too." I smiled back at him.

I was quite surprised when he took my hands in his. "Let me just say that you're beautiful. You're beautiful and Axel doesn't deserve you. Val, remember when we were still together and the innocent love we had? You were happy with me, right? I can make you happier that he ever would."

"David..."

"Damn it! Inagaw ka niya sa akin, Val. You were mine. You said waited for me. Kung mo siya sinundan noon, hindi ka magkakaganito ngayon. I hate seeing you like this. I hate what he did to you. He squeezed both my hands. I wanted to cry but I held my tears back. "Valerie, I want you back..."

 He leaned over to me and before I could react, I felt his lips on mine. He kissed me and I froze. It felt wrong but I didn't do anything about it. I just let him kiss me because I felt alone and weak and just tired of it all. I felt hot tears stream down my face as I kiss him back.