Halt's dead

Never Again...

Will sat on the windowsill. He stared at the castle's gates, watching people trickle in. But his gaze was empty, his eyes red rimmed, his cheeks tearstained, his heart broken. He absentmindedly fidgeted with his oakloaf to stop his hands from shaking too badly. Today was the day, a day he had hoped never to have to endure.

There were more of those days, and he'd already gone through too many. The day he heard Alyss died. The day of her 'funeral', without a body. All those days alone, mourning Alyss. The day he heard Crowley died. The day of his funeral. All those days dealing with a grief-stricken Halt. The day Halt and the others nearly died in Arrida. The day Halt got poisoned. The days after that in which he did not know whether Halt would make it. The day he heard Halt died. And now, the day of the memorial service and the funeral.

Someone entered the room behind him, purposely making a small noise to alert Will to his presence. Will did not stir.

"Will?"

He felt a hand on his shoulder. The touch reminded Will of him, but the voice was not right. Maybe if he kept looking outside, he could pretend it was him.

"Will."

Will shuddered. He had to face it, Halt was dead. But turning around to acknowledge Gilan would make it real. Talking with Pauline already made it hard to deny, but to see Gilan, his brother? He was not ready to accept the truth. His dad was dead. Never again would the grim Ranger roll his eyes or sigh when Will came up with one of his crazy plans. Never again would Will's heart jump up in joy when Halt complimented him with a small nod or smile. Never again would he enjoy Halt's grumpy company and unbeatable sarcasm. Never again would Halt call him his son.

He chewed on his lower lip, trying to stop the tears. Then gave up, allowed them to freely flow down his face. He suddenly turned around and flung himself towards Gilan, wrapping his arms around him. Gilan staggered for a moment, but quickly stabilised himself and wrapped his arms around Will.

They stood there for a while, mourning the death of their mentor. There was no need to talk, they both knew what the other felt. They just needed each other's presence. But Gilan knew they had to get moving: "Everyone is here, Will. The service is about to start. Let's head up to join the others."

Will simply nodded and stepped back. The past few days, the castle had slowly filled up with guests for the funeral. He knew Gilan would come just before the service, meaning it was time to face the full truth. He let Gilan lead the way. The castle was quiet, too quiet. He instinctively glanced into every shadow, each time expecting Halt to be standing there. But he never was. Every shadow was empty.

Gilan paused in front of the door, behind which Will knew everyone was waiting. He sniffed, mumbled his thanks to Gilan when he handed him a handkerchief and blew his nose. But he made no effort to wipe his tears. There was no use anyway. Knowing all the people he loved were behind this door, he'd soon be crying again anyway.

"Ready?" Gilan whispered. When Will nodded, he opened and let Will enter. Horace, who had only just arrived from castle Araluen with King Duncan and Cassandra, immediately walked up to Will and pulled him into a hug. Gilan quietly slipped past them and stood next to Jenny, who rested her head on his shoulder.

When Horace let Will go, Will allowed his eyes to wander the room until he set eyes on Pauline. Since the day Halt had died, they had already seen each other and spoken extensively about Halt and the way to handle things. But before greeting anyone else, it felt right to hug Pauline first.

The room remained quiet as they watched Halt's wife and son hug. After giving them a moment, Cassandra and Gilan met eyes. They took the initiative, stepped forward and joined Pauline and Will. Cassandra motioned for the others to join them. Everyone stepped forward, turning the hug into a big group hug. They all stood there in silence, allowing their tears to flow and remembering the Redmont Ranger who had greatly impacted each of their lives.