peace [bucky barnes]

15

Eden stared out of the tiny window in her office, condensation beginning to gather on the glass, view of the dingy alleyway outside only pulling her deflated mood down even more. Her fingers tapped on the arm of her chair, legs crossed as she reclined, a deep breath filling her lungs and exhaling into the chilly air. Her eyes shifted to the clock on the wall, wondering where her next client was as the hand started to tick past the hour, although given her mental fatigue she didn't mind the prolonged break too much.

There had been no word from Bucky since he stormed out of her apartment a few days previously, and unlike the week before she wasn't really expecting to hear from him again. She messaged him only once this time, letting him know she was here for him and apologising again for leaving him unattended, feeling like it was a good idea to leave him to it after that. Clearly, he had been triggered by her presence after being in such a vulnerable state, her thinking she had probably pushed him too far when he wasn't entirely ready for it; she decided the best thing was to leave him alone, let him figure out his next course of action on his own terms, even if that meant never speaking to him again.

Of course it was hard to restrain herself, urge to message him throughout the days coming on strong, but she had always been good at respecting his boundaries and wasn't about to stop now. She tried not to let it get to her, immersing herself in work and talking to Penny whenever the anxieties started to circulate in her mind, getting all of her thoughts out into the open before they could drive her insane. Once again, it was more than difficult to ignore all of her biting doubts, but Penny's voice of reason always managed to pull her back from the edge, and anytime she had a thought that would not seem to go away she spoke it out loud, stopping it at the source. Surprisingly, she was handling things quite well, the crushing guilt she felt on the first day diminished to a flicker of remorse now carried in the pit of her stomach, able to silence any lingering worries with rationality pulled from her friend's words.

With a sigh, she pulled her phone out from her jacket pocket, unable to hide the disappointment on her face as she found no new messages. At this point she'd almost given up, but there was still a minute hope inside her that he would come around, have a cooling off period where he came to his senses, although after four days of nothing that possibility was wearing thinner and thinner.

A knock at the door pulled her out of her thoughts, eyes darting to the dark wood as she called, "Come in!" 

Slowly the door pushed open, revealing a sheepish Benjamin standing behind it, timid smile on his lips as his sandy hair fell over his eyes. He was dressed all in black, baggy jeans billowing on his thin legs, bundled in a thick jumper and bulky coat that swallowed him up.

"Hi, Benjamin," Eden warmed, gesturing for him to come inside. "Please come in, sit down!"

He obliged, carefully closing the door behind him, shuffling over to the couch opposite her chair where he plonked himself down. His hand reached up, running over his fringe to push it out of his eyes, giving her a nervous look as he sat back against the cushions.

"How are you doing?" She asked, sitting up straight in her chair with a smile, ever the professional despite what was occurring in her own head. "I hope you're feeling better after the other day?"

"I am, thanks," he nodded, eyes shifting to the table beside him, landing on the stress ball she'd deliberately placed there for him before the session began. "Sorry for cancelling, I just couldn't... I couldn't do it."

"You don't need to apologise, it's okay," she told him gently, leaning forward in her seat. "We could start by talking about that, if that's okay with you?"

Benjamin just gave a quick nod of his head, moving to grab the ball in his right hand, quickly moulding it with his fingers. His eyes cast down to his lap, watching as he rolled it against once palm, squeezing it in his fist and repeating the action to alleviate his growing nerves.