Confession Molment Type Deal Situation

New Series, Vlog 2

Cue the same obnoxious doop-ah doop-ah intro as used in the last vlog introduction.

Cue Amber Lynn sitting in her office in front of a bright window. "Hey you guise, sorry for the bad lighting." She pauses and glances off to the side. "Ha Ha Baybeeeeeh you're so funny—can I tell them your joke Baybeeeeeh?" Silence. A tattooed arm flashes across the screen, seemingly for no reason at all.

Cue sudden edit to ALR walking around Target  with a shopping basket. "Hey you guise, we're at Target getting some things for the van." Her flats shuffle across the linoleum. "My ankle is better now you guise. It doesn't feel 100% but my doctor said I can walk on it a little bit now." She picks up a journal and pats the cover. "Y'all I am so tempted, but I just got rid of 25 unused journals. I'm gonna be a good gorl and put this down." She smiles and continues towards the home decor department.  Her hands wiggle side to side around her temples as she speaks. "I know you're all probably thinking why not use the home decor you already have? We don't want the van to look like the apartment—we're going for—like—a rustic cabin on wheels vibe type deal situation molment." She touches a buffalo check cushion with the phrase "Home is Where the Heart is" screen printed on one side. "O.M.G. love this! Must have." Amber Lynn holds the pillow up to the camera—"isn't this so cute?! This is the aesthetic!" The pillow is placed into the shopping cart.

Cue speed up b-roll footage of ALR in Target as she touches everything and makes bizarrely excited facial expressions. Footage is oddly reminiscent of the infamous walking to the tree video, however for this Target clip, it seems as if ALR had forgotten to include royalty-free music in her editing.

Cue the few hours later interlude from Spongebob Squarepants.

Cue ALR at home on the sofa fanning her self with a handheld fan from Dollar Tree. "O.M.GEEEE. We bought so much good stuff for the van. I didn't show you everything, but I will in another video because it is like 3AM and Wifey and I have been making love for the last 6 hours." She casually pulls at her shirt collar to reveal a collection of red marks on her chest.

Cue sudden room change, we are now in the kitchen. "Hey guise, it's the next day. I slept in my clothes from yesterday and I forgot to include my outro, so I am doing that right now. But first I wanted to show you some bomb ass food that I made for Wifey and I."

Cue overheld shot of a square white plate that has 3 blobs of varying shades of beige. "It's a queen-o-ah salad!" She points at the 3 different blobs—"queen-o-ah, sweet potato and tinned chicken."

Cue shot of ALR holding the plate of baby food, I mean queen-o-ah salad next to her face. She blows a kiss and the plate slips out of her hand. Off screen we hear—"It's okay babe, you can have mine."

The vlog ends abruptly.