Truly random

Ten creative ideas to get rid of unwanted zucchini

I don't know about you, but where I live zucchini season is upon us and you might be wondering what to do with them all and whatever possessed you to think 5 plants was a good idea.
You could go with the tried and true method of busting windows and seeing how many you can fit in before you have to make a run for it.
Or you could be mundane and boring and decide to eat them all in creative ways or feed them to your animals.
But if you're a contemporary kinda person always on the lookout for fun new ideas, practical or not. Here are some ideas you might not have thought of yet!

(1) Make it someone else's problem

You're too busy to mess with things like this, hire a private assistant (or mercenary) to do it instead!
This has the added benefit of ridding you of any money you're not sure what to do with as well.

(2) Pass them off to a stranger

High fives are overrated! Next time you meet someone new, give them a three-foot-long zucchini instead.
You might lose possible friends, assets, and valuable connections, but don't worry, they're overrated too.

(3) Self defense

Feel unsafe walking home at night? Purchase a baby blanket, and wrap a large zucchini inside.
If the fact you're a mother doesn't deter them from attacking, slam them over the head with your lovely child and make a run for it!
This has the added benefit of them not seeing it coming and not just being momentarily immobilized, but eternally traumatized!

(4) Make dolls

Throwing zucchinis out is not only wasteful, but cliché!
Instead, make them into dolls and then leave them on the street to beg. You might even make a few bucks.

(5) Reverse mugging

In this fun new twist on an old boring idea, give rather than take!
It's just like traditional mugging except when they give you their possessions you stuff them with zucchini, drop them, and run before they can!

(6) Trick children

Get a bunch of children together and tell them you're going to play a game. Pull out a box of zucchini, and set it down. Then pretend to have left something at home. Ask them to wait, get in your car, and then just leave the state.
Try to make it look natural for best results. Resist the urge to shout, "suckers!" At the top of your lungs as you pull out of the parking lot.

(7) Use them for world domination

I won't insult your intelligence by explaining this one.

(8) Leave them like babies

Abandoned them in baskets on the doorsteps of people you've never met.

(9) Use gaslighting

Gaslight your partner into thinking it was their idea to plant the zucchini, so they should figure out what to do with them. Then dump them so you never have to see the zucchini again.
If you don't have a partner, you can substitute with your local mailman.

(10) Freeze them

Call the police and give them an anonymous tip you're hiding drugs. When they come to your house they will naturally find it suspicious that you have so much frozen zucchini in your freezer and confiscate it for searching.
And just like that, you're rid of it all!

I hope you've found this list helpful in fighting the ever-prevalent terror of zucchini!