ELIZA

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: HAPPINESS

The days went by very fast. It was probably because I felt cheerful all the time and before I knew it, Barb went to Asia with her boyfriend, Tom and I officially started dating, and Camila and Leon started planning a wedding.

Finally, good fortune smiled on me and I began to enjoy even the smallest things. Sometimes I was haunted by terrible thoughts that one day I could lose it all, that I cannot be that happy, because nature always has to be in balance. I cried those days. It was irrational, but I was afraid of how much I got from life.

I got Tom and he was my everything.

I had to hear his voice at least once a day. I was addicted to him. When he didn't call, I did it myself and we always talked for several dozen minutes. One message from him was enough, and I was in the perfect mood for the day. Nothing could ruin it, not even the poor grades at the university. And there were a lot of them. Yes, I neglected my studies. I finished the term with a few retakes.

I started my studies at a great level - in my spare time I used to read medical books, so before the start of the first year I had theoretical knowledge better than my friends. In the second year, this difference became very blurred. On the third one, it was no longer visible and I even stood out from the rest, because instead of focusing on the exams, I was daydreaming about Tom.

I was really ashamed of the grades - my parents were certainly not proud either, but finally, after months of carrying a torch for Tom, I was able to confess my love to him. I could tell him I love you whenever I felt like it and kiss him whenever I wanted. He always reciprocated.

And... We did it. After two months of dating, I slept with him in his apartment. We knew his roommates were gone for the weekend and that no one would interrupt us. Tom made dinner by himself. The first time I ate a dish prepared by him - it was a beef roulade wrapped with onion, bacon and cucumber. We also had a glass of wine. In my case, I drank it to give myself a bit of courage, Tom, in turn, raised a toast for us and didn't look as if he was embarrassed.

Preparing for the meeting, I chose the best underwear. I was very excited. I made a little makeup and straightened my hair. I also put on a dress and wedge-heeled shoes on my feet.

I was even ahead of time because the bus which I was supposed to take arrived too early, so standing in front of the building (I wanted to call the intercom punctually), I was looking at my mobile phone to check the time.

It was unfortunate that Cosmo wrote to me at that moment. I'm a naturally curious person, so while I should have deleted the message right away, I read it. When I entered the apartment five minutes later, I wished I had deleted it indeed.

Cosmo almost wrote an essay, according to which he wondered for a long time whether it was appropriate to write me. In the end, he decided to do so to "not torment himself anymore."

He wrote that he missed, which was kind of sweet. He wrote that he lacked our conversations and my soft voice - perfect pick-up line, but it did work. I thought I loved talking to him too, and it would be a shame if we never had to meet again. He also wrote that he was sorry that he beat Tom, but the rage that overwhelmed him was unstoppable. It was impossible to tame it, so he did it in the stupidest possible way - with his fists.

I didn't write him anything back. Cosmo actually did this to himself. After all, he reminded me of that fight and how I waited impatiently for Tom, who was late. Drinking at the club, I was devastated that he had made up with Barb and therefore didn't come. In the end, I came to the conclusion that I hated men who solve issues with their hands and that talking to Cosmo was not something I should miss.

Entering Tom's apartment, I was glad to see him, although my thoughts still circled around Cosmo. It was only when we drank the wine that I forgot about the man completely, because then I started kissing Tom.

Somehow it went so quickly that from the kitchen where we were eating dinner, we ended up in his room. But we didn't get straight to the point, even though our passion didn't allow us to talk too long. I was fascinated by his body - it didn't show all the muscles, but Tom definitely went to the gym.

I could see the lust in his eyes, and because of that fact, I probably didn't run away crying from the room. I was afraid of my few extra pounds, knowing that Barb didn't have them. I was also afraid that I wouldn't be that good in bed - after all, I'd had only two partners so far...

Fortunately, he took matters into his own hands, which was fine with me. It wasn't reckless, random one night stand like with Cosmo. I really wanted it.

For the next few days we hardly left the bed, only changing apartments when they were empty.

The fascination with Tom continues so far, so it's no wonder that during the holidays I cannot mobilize myself to study for retakes or do an internships. I feel like I'm constantly taking the best drugs in the world.

Barb sends me photos from the trip. I do the same, once I even managed to send her my photo with Tom. Because of it, of course, she didn't write to me for a few days and her "sulk" lasted until the next sweet photo with Oliver.

Today I went on a date with Tom. He took me on a motorcycle and we went to the lake.

I love to ride with him, I love to smell the wind in my hair. I hug him tightly, enjoying the ride. I'm a bit afraid of speed, but I know that I'll be fine with Tom. I trust him completely. I'd like to never part with him. Camila says this state will pass. But I know that for the first time in my life I feel that Tom is the only one.

"What's your biggest dream?" Tom asked me when we were sitting by the lake, hugging.

I pondered. After all, I couldn't say marrying him and starting a family. India was also out of question since Barb was there.

"I wish I had a house near the woods," I murmured finally. "I know, it sounds like an old woman saying, but it's true. I dream of a cottage in the middle of nowhere with a beautiful view of the water. I wish I could have the means to travel around the world. I would go somewhere at least once a year. And I would also like to run a hospital. I would help people in hopeless cases with zero chances of recovery. Because you know... These people very often break down after being diagnosed with cancer and other diseases, and I would start treating them from the psychological side. My observations show that three-quarters of the diseases are in our heads. If you convince yourself, you can do the impossible.

Tom smiled and kissed my forehead.

"This is exactly what I expected."