Loneliness is something Elise is accustomed too. Being dealt a bad hand, Elise lives in an orphanage in a small town, with her own friends being the clouds in the sky. Her bright imagination and curious way of thinking brings her down to earth, wher...
In an empty field, Elise watched the clouds morph and transform into wondrous objects. A rabbit. A statue missing a head. A pirate ship. All these things floated in the sky above Elise while her body lay flat in the vast land alone. She truly loved her mind sometimes, how she could see a man jumping from cloud to cloud to turn its head to smile back before disappearing. She could imagine a world where everything was exactly how she wanted. Instead of Elise living in a run-down orphanage, she could live with a loving family with parents and siblings. In the vast sky, almost instantly, four figures appear. The clouds morphed into that of a slim female with a wide smile and high cheekbones, waving happily to the girl who lay low on the ground. The male figure had a hard, but loving face, not waving, sadly, but Elise could sense a slight smirk hidden behind the thinning clouds.
The smaller of the last shapes were two young girls, with matching dresses and laughing in slow motion. These figures disappeared as quickly as they arrived, leaving tears down the side of Elise's face. Looking at albums of her family in the morning must have left the memories of the life she could have had fresh in her mind. Thinking of her family was always bittersweet, she was too young to know them well, but she could imagine what her life may have been like. Exhausted by her own imagination, Elise leaves behind the empty field, not before gazing back into the sky to perhaps see a glimpse of the cloud- formed family, before slowly making her way back indoors before Mrs. Apan can scold her again for being late.
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"It's 9:02 Miss Morten, you are aware of the rules, or do I need to explain myself again?"
"No Mrs, Apan, I am aware of the rules"
Whether it was two minutes or twenty minutes, Mrs. Apan took an extraordinary delight in scolding the orphans for not being on time to eat the grey slop they try to pass off as 'breakfast'. As Mrs. Apan would say, "late is late".
"Well, if you are late again, we will begin eating breakfast without you, and there's no guarantee there will be any leftovers for you"
No breakfast may be better than what the kitchen serves, but Elise can't risk feeling faint in her lessons for refusing to eat her food, it may be better for her to behave herself, although this was extremely difficult to do. Elise sometimes likes to imagine Mrs. Apan as a statue with her head cut off like the clouds she saw only moments earlier. She smiled. Begrudgingly, she sat down in the dinning hall and waited for Mrs. Apan's endless morning toast.
"Well, ladies, it is a delight to see you all this morning looking bright and ready for another educational day at the Youngs Girls Sagemore Orphanage!"
The sickly sweet delight in Mrs Apan's voice made Elise feel extremely uncomfortable in the place she is meant to call home. Looking across the dining hall, none of the girls looked either bright or ready. Everyone held a tired expression that was not from a lack of sleep, it was the tiredness of the repetitive days, tired of not being adopted, tired of Mrs. Apan. Nothing about this grim place made anyone feel bright or ready to learn.
"I hope you are all ready for your exciting career interviews today!"
Damn, Elise forgot she was meant to be having her interview today, she had been so distracted by imagining a life outside this place, she forgot about her commitments that lie inside. What career goals was she meant to have? She was thirteen years old. Any career that lets her leave this place would be her dream career she thought.
Mrs. Apan and her smaller, but not any less intimidating colleagues, escorted the girls to the large hall where hundreds of screens were placed two metres apart to provide some sense of privacy. The interviews took around ten minutes, with the girls exiting with a slight smile, maybe they were glad to experience a change of their regular routine of Mathematics, English class and the singing of hymns. Elise could hear the slight murmur from behind the screens while she stood in line, waiting for her turn. She could hear the words "career", "study", "experience". The interviews did not sound very personalised, but something they churn out so Mrs. Apan can tell other schools about the 'care' and 'consideration' they show to their students' goals.
When Anna Milano returned from behind the screen, Elise knew she would be next. "Miss Morten" a woman called, gesturing to her to follow her behind the screen. Elise's stomach clenched at the face of this woman, she looked like every woman she has ever disliked in one person. Her sunken eyes and greying skin aged her drastically, Elise almost felt pity for her.
Before Elise began walking to this woman, she could sense everyone staring at her, both the students and the teachers. She wasn't surprised, of course, she was the most troubled one in the orphanage. Elise didn't mind it, at least it meant she was the best at something. Regardless, with all eyes of her, she cautiously walked behind the screen to be greeted by a woman with a hardened face and wide thin lips.
"Please, take a seat. I'm Miss Bellen, I hear you have some career goals you would like to discuss". Her thin lips curved into something she could only presume was a smile.
Her voice was deeper than Elise had expected, which only made her feel more distanced to her. Her chair was raised, making Elise feel incredibly small, which didn't help by her being the shortest and skinniest one in the orphanage.
Miss Bellen sat up, sighed, and spoke in a whispered tone, "I have been told you have been... struggling", she said, looking at Elise's thin arms.
Elise hid her arms behind her back and turned her face to avoid contact with Miss Bellen so she couldn't see the embarrassment coming through on her face. She was extremely tired of the staff bringing up Elise's weight, not because they cared, but because it made the orphanage look bad, as though they don't feed their students.
'This wasn't a career talk' Elise thought, as she looked away at another student looking relatively more happy than she did right now, perhaps she was being given advice on a career as a nurse, or lawyer, while she was getting interrogated by an awful, insincere woman.
All Elise could focus on was that one word, 'struggling'. 'Just another word for troubled', she thought. She was sick of this place, the horrible staff, the disgusting food, the fact she had to sit here looking into the eyes of a woman who couldn't give a damn about her. Sometimes, the thoughts of her own existence was enough to overwhelm her.
To avoid showing any expression to Miss Bellen, Elise continued to stare at the girl on the screen beside her. Her interview was still being conducted, she was smiling still. Sometimes as a lonely orphan, Elise occasionally forgets what happiness looks like on another person, as it was an expression she rarely saw on herself. Elise wondered how it might feel to have even a ounce of life within her, a small spark bursting out of her, telling her she's worth something. Maybe she had one when she was young, if she did, Sagemore definitely stamped out the small fire within her. Curiosity and wonder is not permitted within the walls of Sagemore.
When Elise focused her eyes, she recognised the girl as Olive Hollis, one of the older, kinder students she has encountered in her time here at the orphanage. When Elise was young, she and Olive would skip class to cloud gaze on the field opposite the building, and in that moment of time, she wasn't just some lonely orphan, but a regular girl with a regular friend.
