This Little World of Mine

Chp. 14

"Lace," I whispered, reaching for her face. Flames shot up my arm. Figuratively speaking, of course.
"You, my love, are a moron." She said quietly.
"I get that a lot, believe it or not." I replied. She knelt down beside me with a soft smile on her face. Wrapping a piece of clothe around my arm where I'd caught it on god knows what, she kissed me quickly on my forehead.
"If Pace wasn't right outside, I'd have you right here and now." Her gaze intensified.
"I don't-"
"Baby, it's okay." She helped me up and sat beside me on the bed. "Arthur- Arthur is gone. He's not coming back."
"What about Arti?"
"That's why I wanted to talk to you. Do you remember that one night that we had, um-"
"No, Lucy, I don't. That's the problem. Pace tried to tell me about it, and I don't remember, now you are and I just don't know."
She looked so disappointed.
"Mat-"
"No, you don't get to do this to me. I was over you. I was moving on. Then you march back in and practically beg for me to want you again. I couldn't say no. I'm saying no now. I'll be there for Arti. I'll be there for you. But I can't be lulled into this false sense of hope only to be jarred back into reality by, well, reality."
"What are you talking about?"
"You were doing a DNA test, am I right?"
She nodded.
"Then my point has been made."
"I'm doing it whether you like it or not. If only for my peace of mind."
I set my jaw and glanced down at my lap. Only then did I recognize the negative physical traits a child could receive from me. Noodle arms, twig thin legs, an overall scrawny appearance.
Arthur was relatively attractive. He had the football player physique. A never frowning face. He was tall and thin, but not in the way I was. He wore his height differently. In a creepy, pompous way, he'd stand straight and his beady eyes glared perpetually.
Arthur didn't even look nice. That was only one of many things I hoped Arti didn't inherit.
"Matt?"
"Get out."
"What?" She leaned back, slightly shocked by my reaction.
"Get out of here." I was so close to losing myself- to becoming a monster I couldn't control-and I didn't want to hurt Lucy in the process.
"Bu-"
"I said get out!"
She stood and, with tears falling down her face, she left.
And I? Well, I was left to think about what I'd done, and what I almost did.
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I know it's short. Deal with it. Sorry I haven't had much time lately. It's nearly summer, so I'm working on it. However, I am learning Gaelic (which I suck at), so that's cool.
XOXO,
Me