You and I against the World

midnight walk

      "Connlin, wanna spend the night?" asks Eli. I glanced at him and hesitated, holding back the urge to say yes. I didn't want things to go to far...I barely knew him, after all. He laughed at my silence.

     “Just a question bud, Thomas will be there,” he assures. I rolled my eyes at myself and nodded.  For some reason I felt oddly safe with him, and I didn’t know if it was because he was gay like me or just a nice person. I’ve been talking to him for two hours already and it feels like so much less. Time really flies with him, and I love not knowing what he’s going to say next.

     I sighed and glanced down at Thomas, who was snoring quietly on the blanket Leroy had spread out on the sand for him. Leroy was Thomas and Eli’s cousin, and he started living with them since his parents died in a car accident three years ago. Poor kid, I could never deal with something as traumatic as that.

     “Keep your mind open, and remember that sometimes the most unexpected things in life can be key to your future.” 

     “What do you mean?” I question.

     “I mean you shouldn’t pass up an opportunity like this,” he gestured to Eli, “you two could be soul mates.” He winked. I looked down and blushed to myself. That would be nice…to find someone as important as that so early in life, then again it would take away the fun of dating, getting to know that big, bad world out there. Thankfully, Eli hadn’t noticed Leroy’s bit of advice and was on sitting on the ground next to Thomas, giggling and covering his body with sand. I laughed and tackled him to the ground, defending my unconscious friend.

            To my surprise he actually fought back and we wrestled on the sand for a good ten minutes until I felt Leroy’s hands yank us apart. The other guys had left so it was just he four of us now.

            “You’re going to kill each other!” Leroy freaks. Eli and I glanced at each other briefly before we started cracking up, making Leroy roll his eyes at us and return to brushing the sand off of Thomas. I haven’t had that much fun in years; it’s amazing how easy it is to be happy with him.

            “God Eli I think I love you,” I sigh. I hadn’t realized what I’d said until I’d said it, and when I did I had meant it in a sarcastic way, but it ended up coming out way too serious to be a joke. It hit me like a ton of bricks, had I really meant what I said…? Was it something cliché like fate or was I just screwing up my words again?

I now felt extremely embarrassed, partially because I’d just confessed my unknown love to someone I had just met, and it had not been confirmed that he was gay yet. I just knew in my heart that he was.

“So I guess you do wanna spend the night,” he smiles warmly at me.

“I’m gunna have to say yes…” I whisper.

“Shouldn’t you ask your mom first?”

“She won’t mind. Can we just go now?” I say.

“Why? It’s beautiful out tonight, why don’t we take a walk?” he suggests, smiling up at the glittering stars. I looked up at the sky and gazed at the millions of twinkling little stars, mystified. I heard Eli laugh and me and I kind of laughed at myself for being so hasty. A walk on the beach under the stars…how much more romantic could that get? I stood up and Eli took my hand, twining our fingers together and looking into my eyes. Oh my god…there’s no way this could be happening…

“I don’t know what it is, but I feel like I already know you…” he whispers, looking down at our hands.

“I know,” I respond. He laughed and turned, leading me down the beach and onto the shore. Leroy hadn’t even noticed we’d left and we were already around the bend before he looked up. It was like he’d taken the words right out of my mouth. It was amazing, like we had known each other for years, like there has always been something there…but we were just not realizing it. But I knew better than to put all of my trust into him, I promised myself I would never do that again. Long story short- dad abandoned me and my mom at the worst possible time. My mother may have broken up with him, but he didn’t pay child support, and all that time we’ve been struggling, and her becoming an alcoholic has not helped, though she’s recovered quite a bit. We both have.

“I completely get it. I had the same situation until my parents died.” Eli broke out into soft tears, and I didn’t hesitate to hold him tenderly.

“I gotcha,” I whisper.