You're The Straw To My Berry (Phan)

Part nine

 Dan P.O.V.

"Peej? PJ! Sorry guys, uh, I'll see you later!" I watched Chris get up and bolt out the apartment, running after PJ.

"What do you think that was about?" I asked Phil after I heard the door slam. Chris's footsteps died away and I looked at Phil who looked as confused as I was.

"I don't know... he's been acting really weird lately."

"I hope he's alright, Chris will probably talk to him."

RING RING RING

My ringtone blared out of my phone and I frowned at the caller ID.

"Chris? What's up?"

"He-he's gone! He was running when I got out and he's gone, I'm worried, what do I do?! He's been crying all month and he won't tell me why!"

"Calm down, come back up to ours."

"I can't, I should probably go home and see if he turns up."

"Good idea, you'll tell us when he's home though, yeah?"

"Yeah, 'course. Dan... You don't think he's suicidal do you?" his voice got quieter as his question progressed and I froze, panicking. At first it didn't seem likely, but when I added up all the signs... "Dan?"

"Oh! Uhh... no, no he can't be, I'm sure he's fine," but I don't think I even convinced myself when I said it. "Are you sure you don't want to come back up? You sound terrible."

"No, I'll go home. I'll trying ringing him too."

"Are you sure he really didn't have somewhere to go?"

"I'm sure, he didn't speak to anyone." He was on the verge of tears now, I could tell by his voice getting thicker.

"Okay, we'll talk to you later and we'll tell you if we hear anything."

"Thanks Dan, see you later."

"It's okay, alright, bye," hanging up, I looked over at Phil and opened my mouth to start explaining the situation but he put a finger to my lips to silence me.

"It's okay, I heard it all."

"Do you think we should do something? Like go out and try and find him?"

"I think he needs space, but if it would make you feel better then you can."

"I think I will, I won't be too long, hopefully," I kissed him on the cheek and put on a warm jacket and shoes and gave Phil another kiss and headed out the door. I sighed impatiently as I waited for the lift then spent the journey down to the ground floor thinking about where PJ could possibly be. London was huge, he could be anywhere by now.

I had no idea where he could be and tried to enter PJ's unique mind as I took random twists and turns. It was still light so I didn't have to worry about the dark, but I would stay out all night on my own looking for him if I had to.

After only 10 minutes of searching, I was getting frustrated. Why did he have to run out like that? Did he just want attention? If he did, he was certainly getting it now, but PJ never seemed like the attention-loving type.

Was he suicidal? Wasn't Chris saying how he spent a month crying and he hadn't spoken to anyone? He hadn't made a video last month and wasn't posting a lot... he wouldn't do anything, would he? He wouldn't leave Chris behind would he? I couldn't imagine not having PJ here, not staring into his bright green eyes. I would hate to think what life would be like if he left us all, and how distraught and upset Chris would be.