Living with Hope ✓ [ boyxboy ] [ Completed ]

08 | YOUR MOM

08 | YOUR MOM
When your “Never Lose To Hope” mantra changes into “Never Lose Hope,” you know you’re in trouble

Ivan’s POV

Alexander looks at me like I’m some weird foreign creature, maybe I am.

“Your mom?” he asks.

“Uh yeah,” I mumble, feeling uneasily small. “She, uh, she…” I swallow hard and try again. “She’s in the hospital,” I manage, pressing my eyes shut.

“I know, you told me.” His voice is softer now. Kinder. And laced with realization.

I nod, refusing to make eye-contact with him. My whole body is shaking, I don’t know why. My legs are bouncing up and down. My hands are balled into fists and I’m sliding one set of knuckles against the other so that they rub against each other.

“Hey.” He’s closer to me than he was a few seconds ago. I know this because he’s practically whispering and I can still hear him. He places a hand gently on my knee and my shaking slows down. “It’s okay,” he says, soothingly. “I’ll take you there. Don’t worry so much.”

I nod. There’s a lump in my throat and I know if I express something now it’ll probably be through my eyes. So I stay quiet and stare at my knee and the hand he placed there. 

“Okay,” he whispers, tentatively taking his hand off my leg and placing it on the gearshift. The engine fires and he starts reversing his convertible.

We drive in silence. He assures me that he can take care of the directions on his own. He keeps glancing at me to check if I’m okay but I stare upwards, at the flecks of the sky I can see through the canopy of leaves. 

Hope parks his car in the almost empty parking lot in front of the hospital. He looks at me and his eyes seem to be saying good luck and I'm sorry at the same time. Exhaling, I step out of the car and walk mindlessly towards the hospital door. A few seconds later, I turn around and walk back to the car.

“Uh, Hope?” I say, hovering around his side of the car. He jerks at the sound of my voice and tears his eyes from his phone.

“I, uh, I left my phone at your place,” I say nervously. “And we need to give our number for checking in…”

He nods understandingly and pushes his door open, stepping out. His messy hair dwindles with the breeze as we walk into the hospital. Hope gives his phone number to the woman standing at the reception and we take the elevator to the third floor, where my mother is.

As we walk to her room, a nurse - one I recognise - comes to a halt beside me.

“Ivan,” she says, giving me a wry smile. “You’ve come at the right time. Elena was just talking about you.”

“Is she-- she’s awake?” Even though my mother won’t have many more days to live, the fact that she’s awake - that I can hear her voice for one last time - brings me a sense of bittersweet happiness.

The nurse nods. “Yes. But I’m afraid…”  Her voice trails off. I know she’s going to tell me that I might not have much time with her - both literally and figuratively. My mother’s condition hasn’t really improved in the past few days and I can feel her slipping away.

I give her a sad smile. “How much longer?” I ask. “How much longer does she have?”

“The doctor is saying a week, at most.” She sighs. “I’m sorry, Ivan. This must be hard for you.”

I shake my head, looking away. “It’s fine,” my voice hitches. “I should go see her.”

She smiles at me and looks up at Hope. “And you are his friend, I suppose?”