Falling Down (Rick Grimes Romance)

Chapter 13

Charlotte Bronte was once quoted as saying, "I would rather be happy than dignified."

What a load of shit that unfortunately as it turns out couldn't be truer. Sometimes I cant help but wonder if people have simple moments of brilliance or if they just see the world through eyes of wisdom I simply don't have.

"You were asking me to walk away from ten years of marriage. Ten years of birthday, anniversaries and memories. To just close the book and walk away as if my marriage meant nothing." Ricks words echoed through my head as if they were some rude accusing finger. "It wasn't nothing it had been my life. Everything I knew. I loved you with everything I had and you couldn't give me a moment."

I was so done thinking about Rick. Dwelling on all the things I could see now that what I had done wrong. I could admit to myself and myself only that I may have handled the whole arrival of Lori wrong.

I had been arrogant enough to believe I could understand what it would be like to have your family come back from the dead. Just high enough on my horse that I felt entitled believing that without question Rick should have chosen me. I held host to such emotions as jealousy, fear and desperation. Caught somewhere between acting like a child and a scorned woman the situation just.... well.... for lack of a better word.... Slipped away.

That's not to say I was absolving Rick of his mistakes and shit slinging. My dignity while bumped and bruised was still intact. In the long run if I had to do it all over again I would still choose to leave. Perhaps not in the manor I did but I would leave all the same. As far as ending up with Shane at least I could say I loved him even if I wasn't in love with him.

Pushing through the heavy doors of the cell block I was greeted by overcast skies and a sharp breeze. Tucking my hands into the pouch of my hoodie I hustled my way across the courtyard to the front gates. Fucking weather never cooperated. It was either to bloody hot to move or it was a down pour approaching flood.

"Hey Jenna," Maggie's voice called out from behind me. "Wait up."

Hiking my bag higher on my shoulder I turned my head slightly in her direction but didn't stop walking. "What's up?"

"Can we talk," Maggie was only a few steps behind me now.

"You know I should probably be going," I said as I pointed up towards the sky, walking just slightly faster. "Looks like it's going to start raining soon."

Wishing I had a clear shot to escape I nodded acknowledging the man on guard at the gate. Barley recognizing his face I knew he was new but couldn't place a name. "Morning....." I paused before I gave up on the whole name part. "I need to sign out."

"Sure thing," the man said as he reached for the clip board which hung from the fence.

"Good morning Brent," Maggie said as she stopped almost standing between me and the gate. "Where are you going?"

"It's all good Mag's," I said as I signed my name. "I posted that I was going out a few hours ago on the main board. I'm sure Ricks seen it by now and if he had a problem he would have said something."

I went to hand it back to the guy when Maggie quickly grasped it from my hands. I watched dumbfounded as she signed her name beside mine. Stubborn as always I guess I had little choice in the matter if she was coming or not.

"It looks as if we might only have a few hours till it rains." Having passed through the gates Maggie fell into step beside me. "How far are we going?"