Billion Dollar Vengeance

Chapter 18: Help

The feeling of being trapped never goes away. I can't be with Jameson without thinking about Bruce. And I can't be with Bruce. He sends me copious amounts of camera footage. I watch every single second of it, sometimes crying, sometimes holding a vibrator against my clit, and sometimes just staring at it numbly. I try to delete it all. Several times. But I can't do it.

My guilt starts to spiral. Every time Jameson sends me a nice text, my gut twists. He's not perfect, but he's a nice a guy and I care about him. I can't be with him while I'm hung up on Bruce. It just isn't fair. And the more of these videos I watch, the more I know that I'm not getting over him any time soon. Every time I think of that night when Bruce carried me up to my room drunk, miraculously knowing which door was mine, my heart rips open all over again. He broke me, and I'm not reassembled yet.

I can't do it anymore. As soon as I get into the house after work halfway through the week, I shut myself in my room and pull out my phone. It's after five, so he should be done with work. My foot bounces as I listen to the ring.

"Hello?"

"Jameson, hi. Um, are you busy right now?" My stomach twists and heart pounds.

I hear the shuffling of papers in the background. "Actually, yes. I'm sorry. Can I call you back tomorrow? I'm still at the office and I have a ton of really dull paperwork to sort through."

My heart drops. "Oh. Yeah, of course."

He seems apologetic. We say our goodbyes and hang up the phone. And somehow, I feel worse. The stones in my gut turn heavy and unbearable. I need to do this now or I won't do it at all. Resigning myself, I change out of my work clothes and make a quick sandwich to eat on the way to the train stop.

"Where are you going?"

Jenna comes down the stairs as I'm grabbing my coat in the entry. I clear my throat, but the lump doesn't go away. "I'll be back soon. Just have to see Jameson really quick."

She scoffs. "Why are you breaking up with him?!"

I grimace. "I... It's complicated. But it just isn't going to work out."

She rolls her eyes and heads off to the kitchen. "Whatever. Go ahead and ruin your own life, it's not mine."

I try to shake her off, but her words follow me as I walk through the sleet, eating a sandwich with one hand and holding an umbrella with the other. It won't take but a few minutes. I won't be interrupting his work for long. But maybe telling him that I can't see him anymore while he's in the middle of sorting paperwork is bad timing. Although, there really isn't good timing with this kind of thing. And it's not like we've been dating long, so he shouldn't be too broken up about it.

I've made up my mind by the time I step onto the train. And now I have to wait with stones in my stomach until I get to the courthouse. There's an adjacent building that's home to the offices of all the people who work in court. The door is still unlocked and the lights are on, so I suspect Jameson isn't the only one here past dinner time. Memories of Jenna resurface as I walk the halls toward his office for the first time since the trial. The quiet is eerie, but I hear a few keyboards typing away behind closed office doors, and the lights cut through the sleet out the occasional window.

As I approach his office, I see the door is open just a crack, like it was meant to be shut, but whoever shut it wasn't paying attention. An unfamiliar voice floats out, and I freeze. I hadn't considered that he might have a client. He just said he was doing paperwork.

The foreign man's voice laughs, and I slide a little closer, confused.

"You are a funny one, Mr. Michaels. But legal advice aside, I think you know why I'm really here. I don't often make these kind of calls in person." There's silence on Jameson's end, so the man continues. "You have yet to get any useful information out of the girl."