The Unknown Family

The Story

Before I was kidnapped, I was writing a story.

The story of the girl struggling with her past and traumas she experienced.

Storytelling is where you make up a line of events and join them all together inside a book, or an imagination, or even on a computer.

This book was no story.

This book was a journal of experiences.

My book of experiences.

"You killed your sister?" Xavier was not judgemental, but more baffled.

"When I was eleven, my mother died from lung cancer. My dad couldn't cope with staying in France after her death, so he got transferred back to LA, where he grew up.

My mother had nine children in her lifetime: Vito, Rina, Andrea, Leo, Luca, Theo, me, Lou and Jo.

But Lou and Jo are the daughters of my dad, the one who raised me."

Xavier sat quietly, my head on his shoulder as I confessed.

"One night, two years later, while Theo was out with friends, my dad decided to take us for a McFlurry for a nighttime drive.

Lou begged him to take us to the one at the edge of the cliffs, so we could look at the view.

While we were driving around a corner of the cliff, a car was on the wrong side of the road, and trying to dodge the other vehicle, we drove off of the cliff and into the forest below.

My dad and Lou were killed on impact."

I took a deep breath before continuing, praying I don't have a panic attack.

"Lou's head went through the windshield, she insisted on sitting in the front since she was the second oldest and I didn't mind sitting in the back.

She was ten.

My dad had a tree branch impaling his chest, which killed him after a few minutes."

Xavier looked intensely into my eyes, providing all the comfort I needed.

"I managed to call 911, and told them of Jo's condition. She had a dark red, almost black blood running from her mouth and nose. There was a shard of glass almost piercing her heart, which I could tell from the positioning, if they moved her, it would've killed her instantly.

They said all I could do was make her comfortable.

But there was nothing comfortable about the way she was dying.

Her last words to me was 'I love you', before she asked me to end it.

After kissing her forehead, I shuffled over with my blown knee, and held my hand over her mouth and nose and suffocated my eight year old sister.

Search and rescue managed to get me out of the wreck two hours later, and then got the rest of my dead family out as well.

Megan and Josh's mother, Amanda, is my godmother, and she was called while I was being flown to the hospital.

I was rushed into surgery and they managed to get me 80% function back in my knee.

On the way over to the hospital, Amanda picked up Theo. When they got there, they were told of the deaths of my dad and sisters.

They are the only people who know that I killed Jo."

Xavier stayed silent, just hugging me to his chest as I listened to his steady heartbeat.

"You didn't kill her, you ended her suffering." He tried to convince.

"I am aware of what I did Xavier, it was a mercy killing but a killing non the less." I explained, "And despite being told to not be guilty, I couldn't help but feel it every time I looked at Theo, or Josh and Megan together. I took me months to accept that I had no reason to feel guilty.

And by the time I did, Theo had been sent to juvie and I was sent to live with a while new family."

With a small smile, Xavier kissed the crown of my head before hugging me tighter.

"You're too pure for this world."

"I disagree." I laughed slightly, still trying to stop being upset about relieving that experience.

"You can disagree." Xavier smiles, "You can disagree and be wrong if that's what you want."

It's funny really, for years I was depressed about my mother's, long, drawn out, painful death. Then I got anxiety from the death of my dad, Lou and Jo. Then I got depressed some more.

And that all folded into anxiety and panic attacks that crippled me emotionally.

But with Xavier, it all went away.

We met through trauma that should've increased all of those negative emotions I had.

It should've broken me.

With Xavier, I was back to the happy person I used to be. The energetic, wonderfully crazy girl I hadn't been for years.

I was confident enough in my abilities to do and be anything I wanted.

And due to this, I finally managed to confess everything out loud to someone besides my brother who deserved to learn the truth about his youngest sister's death.

I admitted that, I did nothing wrong.

Because a mercy killing, is still a killing, but mercy non the less.

"What happened to your mother and Carlos?" I asked some thirty minutes later.

"Mi mama moved back to Barcelona with Carlos. Mi mama doesn't know of the reason for Gloria's death, I deleted all information from the hospital records. All it says is that she had a miscarriage, and my mother and Carlos believe that is the only reason for her suicide.

Carlos hasn't spoken to me like a brother in over five years now, only a business associate. And even then, he barely acknowledged me."

"Why don't you tell him? Try and rebuild your relationship." I tried to convince, hoping that longing in his eyes while talking about his brother would one day disappear.

"He still remembers Gloria as his joyful twin sister. The woman who's smile lit up any room no matter how bad of a day you were having.

And he's now living the life of the Spanish Don, because of me, knowing that I was aware of how desperately he didn't want the role.

To him, I forced the position upon him just as much as our padre."

Letting out a sigh, I curl into him some more, welcoming his loving hold.

"When you're all healed, we're going to Spain."

"Liv-"

"You don't have to tell them what happened, but it's time you see your family again, especially after being kidnapped." I order, not giving him an opportunity to protest.

"You're the boss mi amor." He smiles.

"Tell me something I don't know mon amour." I smirk back.