Benchtrio's Amazing Guide to City Living | Ft. The Hermits & SBI

A man's life doesn't look back

It's not long before Quackity leaves, the door closing gently behind him. The blinds rise, letting the sunshine in the shop once again. Scar, now a few emeralds richer and another deal made, waves goodbye but his smile falls when he sees the avian cross the street. He picks up the rotary dial behind the old, authentic hourglass and begins to turn the wheel. Jellie jumps off the counter, annoyed by the constant cranking of the cogs.

He hears silence on the other end but then a voice comes, groggy and a little annoyed.

"Hello?"

"Grian, I need you to listen very carefully"

—

Tommy wakes up on the couch. He is bundled up in a blanket, a sore on his side from the awkward way he's been put on the cushions and he thinks there is a bruise on his right knee and maybe a bump on his head -though he might be imagining the last one. The cushions are so soft that one's buttocks can enjoy sitting there but lying down... he has sunk to the hardwood. Which is not fine because he wants to get up and get shit ready for the party- Grian will be home soon (he doesn't know how soon) and he has to help with the preparations!

But the couch is too nice and the warmth of the blanket is lulling him back to sleep. But he also has to get up- wait. What did he do to be sleeping on the couch in the first place? He remembers being shoved aside by False when she came, then Fundy screaming in his high-pitched voice and then... And then he fainted.

Why did he faint again? How did he end up on the couch? Did Fundy carry him? Or maybe it was False; False seemed strong. Hmmm... ah! Right! The Crowfather was at the door!

Which. If he thinks about it rationally, it could've just been a ghost. Some imaginary image his mind made up. Cleo told them this scary ghost story once of a builder burying his wife in the concrete of the building because it kept falling and some bird told him to do that because that would magically solve everything. So they lived with the bones of the wife in the walls. (Tommy is certain that Cleo stole that story from somewhere but he has yet to find the original).

"...awake?"

He hears muffled noises around him. Someone is speaking but he is too sleepy to comprehend the words. However, someone approaches. This presence of mischief and sacrilege and pure evil follows with its wiggly cartoon tentacles. It is extremely similar to the time he woke up because Tubbo had decided to ruin his day by setting a mousetrap by his feet-

His face is slapped by a cold and heavy weight. He shoots up immediately, throwing off whatever that slimy thing was-

"I'm awake!!", he yells loudly, ignoring the loud laughter that erupts around him, and finds the culprit faster than one can say "bee". Tubbo is laughing at his deadly glare.

"Awesome! Come see your hero!", says his friend before grabbing him by the arm and dragging him to his feet.

That's right. The Crowfather! Where is he? And why is he? Why is he here, he meant. Like, why? Why is he in the building and specifically in Stress' house?

"Hey, mate!", and his eyes meet his idol's. Holy mackerel, he isn't a ghost. Though the man seems to have fallen victim to Stress' hospitality because Tommy has never seen the hero without his green kimono and wearing bright pink flip-flops.

"Hello!", he responds, ripping the blankets off him at record speed. He chooses to ignore the chuckles that come from Stress and False, who are sitting at the dinner table. Holy shit, The Crowfather is sitting at their dinner table.

"I'm sorry for scaring you-"

"You could never scare me!"

The Crowfather chuckles. Tommy never thought that he would make the hero chuckle. This is perhaps the best day of his life- it is exactly how a fanfic unfolds! Or, he thinks that's how a fanfic unfolds, he hasn't read any since the time the three of them snuck in a library and hacked into the computers there. That was around the time he was twelve and The Crowfather was still a very hot topic. Hot enough for there to be thousands of E-rated fanfics making their way 'round the internet.