Healing Her Heart

Chapter 9

The stone floor slapped against my bare feet as I half ran half fell down the staircase on my way out of the tower. My breaths were already coming in huge shuddering gasps; a combination of my current lack of fitness and the fear that had been created when Dan had admitted to me that he had stolen me and was not acting under the instruction of the army anymore. I could hear the start of his pursuit above me as I stumbled down another three steps finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and finding myself in a large lounge — only one route out I made my aching body move again. The corridor I found myself in was a blur and nothing more than the fact it wasn't an exit to the outside registered about the doors I flung open. Dan was close behind me now, moving only quick enough to keep up — not yet making his move to stop me. I reached the final door. My hand, shaking slightly from fear or fatigue, reached out to turn the handle — please open please open — and finally found a door into the bright sunshine. Dan, still not pushing himself in his slow pursuit of me, shouted at me to stop, that this was pointless, that there was nowhere to run to. Rejecting this obvious truth — I had seen it for myself from my windows — I ran.

He was always just behind me, pushing me on, not allowing me to gather my thoughts or my breath. My whole reason of existence became escape from the man following me — nothing else mattered. Heather scratched my legs and stones bit into my feet the cuts stinging my every step, my lungs were on fire as they dragged in increasingly ragged breaths. Behind me Dan called out again "Sara stop! You're only going to hurt yourself and there's nowhere for you to run, just give up." I glanced back at him, surprised by how little distance I had moved away from the tower, it felt like I had been running forever but the tree line that was my goal did not seem any closer. Tears blurred my vision and I fell often adding grazed knees and palms to my other scrapes. Dan was closing the distance between us and was now just over an arms length behind me but he still didn't make to grab me. I assumed he was letting me exhaust myself so it would be easier for him to do whatever it was he wanted — not that he would have had any trouble subduing me anyway; maybe he just enjoyed chasing me down. As I twisted to look back at him again I felt the floor disappear beneath my feet and then lost all sense of up and down as I landed in an unseen hollow, bashing my head on the way down. Too dizzy to make my limbs obey me I lay looking up at the sky as Dan's blurry shape bent over me.

"Sara I'm going to pick you up now, I don't think you should walk in case you've sprained your ankle, don't fight me ok?"

How could I possibly fight him I thought, running was stupid I should have known I'd be caught and now he'll just be angry. I still stiffened as he lifted me though, still trying to escape him in a small way; I couldn't suppress my need to remove as much of my body from contact with his as I could. I cried quietly to myself as he walked back towards the tower, not caring that he saw how weak I was for surely he already knew — my escape attempt had ended less than a few hundred meters from my prison with more injuries for me whilst Dan had not even broken a sweat. As he picked his way through tufts of heather I realised that my tower was not part of a castle but had probably been a single watch tower that now had a single story extension of a normal looking white cottage. The tower looked like it was holding the smaller house prisoner, looming over it and casting it into shadow, Dan carried me right into its shade and then back inside the door that I had burst out of only a few minutes before.

 Once inside Dan took me into the lounge and put me carefully onto one of the squashy sofas.

"Stay there. I'll get the stuff I need to sort you out and I'll be back soon." So my punishment would be now then. I wondered what he would fetch, chains, a whip or maybe blades — maybe he'll kill me now before he does anything else. I slid off the sofa onto my feet desperately searching for a place to hide — behind the other sofa would be my only choice as I could already hear movement getting closer as Dan returned. I held my breath as he re-entered the room — it was the only way I could stop my uneven breathing from giving me away. He sighed as he saw I was not where he left me.

"Sara I know you're still in here because you didn't get past me. I'm going to give you a choice — stay hidden and I will find you very quickly and drag you out so I can take care of you or come out yourself which will get it all over and done with much sooner."

I did want it to be over didn't I? To avoid the terror of a small animal as its predator searches for it, all the while knowing for certain it will be found and killed anyway. And it might be so much more painful if I made him look for me. I crawled out from the space behind the sofa and stood, eyes down, waiting.

 Dan walked over to me and took hold of my arm guiding me back to the first sofa and pressing me to sit down. I couldn't bring myself to look at what instruments of torture he had laid out on the low coffee table in front of it but even not knowing what was in store I began to shake slightly. He must have noticed as he crouched in front of me, lifted my chin and started into my eyes speaking words I would not let myself believe.

"I'm not going to hurt you. I need to disinfect these cuts," I flinched as his finger trailed one of the deeper cuts on my left foot, "and I think we need to establish some rules." I had known there would be rules. When he released my chin I looked to verify his words and sure enough there was cotton wool and a bowl of cloudy, chemical smelling water. Why take care of me if only to hurt me later himself? All I could come up with was that it was part of his game to try to win my trust first.

 I was passive as he lifted first one foot and then the other, gently stroking the stinging antiseptic over my cuts and scrapes. I stayed silent as he worked his way up my legs to my knees then turned my palms upwards. I even managed to hold myself in place when he raised his hand to my cheek to dab a cut I wasn't even aware existed. All the while my nerves screamed at me to run from this seemingly gentle man, reminding me that he had taken me from the relative safety of my hospital bed to this unknown wilderness that seemed deserted apart from us. I forced myself not to cringe away from him when he leant forwards and his lips followed the cotton wool to my cheek and planted a single kiss there.  "Sara, we need to talk."