State Files

Various Incorrect Quotes

TW: nsfw stuff and violence 

Florida: Are we fighting or flirting?
Louisiana: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Florida: Your point?

Louisiana: Well, Florida and I finally did it!
The rest of the squad: *gasps, shocked expressions, etc.*
Louisiana: That's right... We kissed!

Florida: What are you in the mood for?
Louisiana: World domination.
Florida: That's a bit ambitious.
Louisiana: You are my world.
Florida: Aww...
Louisiana:
Florida:
Louisiana:
Florida: OH.

Florida: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.
Louisiana: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.
Florida: O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??
Louisiana: Is it working?

*While planning to break in somewhere*
Florida: Hey, let's do "Get Help!"
California: What?
Florida: "Get Help."
California: No.
Florida: C'mon, you love it!
California: I hate it.
Florida: It's great! It works every time!
California: It's humiliating.
Florida: Do you have a better plan?
California: No.
Florida: We're doing it!
California: We are not doing "Get Help!"
*A Minute Later*
Florida, carrying California: Get help! Please! They're dying! Help Them! *throws California at guards, knocking them out*
Florida: Ahh, classic!
California: *gets up* I still hate it. It's humiliating
Florida, laughing: Not for me, it's not.

*California recording whilst New York and Florida are arguing*
New York: HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP, HOLD UP!! HER SISTER WAS A WITCH, RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS! THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST, BRO!
California: *wheezes like a tea kettle*
Florida, pulling out a knife: I'm gonna stab them.
New York: YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG?
Florida: It's my favorite movi-
New York: SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE, FLORIDA!
Florida: I'm not fighting with you, I'm not fighting with y-
New York: GROW UP, BRO. GROW UP!

California: DC is a strings kid. We must sacrifice them to the band gods.
Georgia: Yes.
Florida: You're right. It'd be a good initiation for me.
DC: Wait, guys, what about the truce we signed-
Georgia: What truce?
California: *sigh* The truce that we must destroy all the choir kids and leave the strings alone.
Texas: Wait, I'm a choir kid!
Everyone else: *prepares for sacrifice*

Florida: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning.
Louisiana: This is a lie.
Louisiana: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Louisiana: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS.

*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Florida: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
New York: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Louisiana: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
California: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Louisiana: *flips the board*

Florida: California! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover.
California: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

Florida: *on the phone* Hey California, do you know my blood type?
California: Of course, it's B-.
Florida: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!
California: YOU DON'T KNOW YOUR BLOOD TYPE?!

Florida: That shirt looks great, New York.
New York: Thanks.
Florida: But I bet it would look even better on California's floor.
California: Are you hitting on New York... for me?

Florida: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don't get along?
Louisiana: What did you just say-
Florida: Foetons! *Laughs*
Louisiana: Wh-what?

Florida: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Louisiana: You and me!
Florida: *tearing up* Ok.

Florida: Your smile? It makes my day.
Louisiana: Your happiness? I live for that.
New York: A room? Get one.
California: Hotel? Trivago.

New York: Why is Florida crying on the floor?
California: They took one of those 'what person are you?' quizzes.
New York: And?
California: They got Texas.

Florida: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.
DC: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can't just say blue because there's more than one blue.
Florida: Blue and light blue, nice try idiot. Fuck you.

Louisiana: The stars are so beautiful...
Florida: They're just giant balls of gas.
Louisiana: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-
Florida: And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.
Louisiana: Oh...

California: Where's Louisiana?
New York: Don't worry, I'll find them.
New York, shouting: Florida sucks!
Louisiana, distantly: Florida is the best person ever! Fuck you!
New York: Found them.

Louisiana: I didn't drink that much last night.
New York: You were flirting with Florida.
Louisiana: So what? They're my partner.
New York: You asked if they were single.
New York: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

DC: Is it still visible? Where Florida slapped me?
California: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.
New York: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.
Texas: A palm reader could tell Florida's future by looking at your face.
Louisiana: The phrase 'talk to teh hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you,
because the hand is your face.
DC: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

*Florida and Georgia enter a dive bar*
Florida: Look, I know you're disappointed but could we at least have a drink.
Georgia, in a scuba diving suit: I would like leave, please.

California: I'm not doing to well.
DC: What's wrong?
California: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Texas enters the room*
California: There it is again.