virus | skz

-one-

"They'll be fine, Chan. It's not like we'll just up and disappear. We've been out a million times. We can handle it. They can handle it. You're acting like you'll never see them again. HaeMi is ready to punch you." SeungMin chuckles as he rests his chin on Chan's shoulder and playfully puffs his cheeks out. His chocolate brown hair hangs over his puppylike eyes like a shield. It protects him from revealing too much. His eyes are hidden beneath a thin barrier that alters what we can and can't see—what he can and can't see.

He isn't wrong. The look on HyeMi's face is truly intriguing. She seems uninterested in every sense of the word. She's told him a million times that she can handle it. Every time we leave he has to lay everything out for her as if she didn't catch it all the first time. This will be her twelfth time taking control of things since we found her. I think she's more than capable. We haven't lost anyone while they were under her care before. That's more than enough to say she can handle it.

"I can manage, Chan. Shouldn't you be more concerned about MinHo going with you? He's just barely getting over a broken shoulder. What about JeongIn? He hurt his ankle a few days ago. Is he in good enough condition to run if he has to?" HaeMi begins bringing up quite a few good points. I honestly want to add to them just to help her get her point across. She should mention Felix's mental break last night.

Felix was a sobbing mess. Tears had poured down his precious freckled face like the rushing water of a waterfall. He couldn't catch his breath for almost an hour. Chan sat and held him most of the night trying to get him to quiet down. JiSung and I walked the walls all night to ensure the little ones were safe and his cries didn't draw anything in. Don't get me wrong—I love the kid. I really do. It's just—he's fragile. He needs to know that he's doing good and that everything is fine or he breaks down. It's strange in a way. It contradicts everything he'd been before this all started.

I'll admit I have my moments, too, but I can cover them up. Pushing my fear and anxiety so far down my own throat has become a talent of mine. It's the only reason I've managed to get by this long. In this world, you have to be numb. You can't let your feelings get in the way of what's most important—survival. The moment you hesitate—the moment you question if what you're doing is right—is the moment you take your last breath.

"What about, Lix? Are you really sure he should go?" HaeMi lowers her voice as Felix slips back into the main building to help get the rest of our supplies.

"He's fine—he'll be fine. I promise. He knows what has to be done." Chan acts as if he's trying to convince her, but it's clear as day he's trying to convince himself, too. We all know Felix has the hardest time when it comes to our trips. He has nightmares for days after them.

"I really hope you're right. He can't hesitate like he did last time. MinHo was in rough shape." HaeMi glances toward MinHo. He holds his shoulder and moves his arm in circles to try and loosen his tense muscles.

Last time—it was one of our worst trips yet. It should've been an easy in and out, but Felix choked up. He was in the pharmacy of the hospital in the next town over with MinHo. He was watching the door while MinHo grabbed everything he could. They had fifteen minutes to get in and out. I had been in the cafeteria down the hall with HyunJin when we heard it.

Felix hesitated. He didn't pull the trigger. He couldn't speak up. Then MinHo yelled out in pain. I never ran so fast before in my life. I left HyunJin to fend for himself—of course I knew he was more than capable of doing so. I ran and ran until I reached the pharmacy. Felix was cowering in the corner while MinHo was pinned to the ground. It was obvious from the look on his face that he was in pain, but he had to keep fighting to keep himself alive.

I grabbed the man—who am I kidding—the monster on top of him by the back of the shirt and pulled him off of him. The sound of HyunJin's shots rang through the building as he protected us from the monsters slowly closing in on us. I pinned the monster to the wall and held my gun under his chin. Without hesitating, I pulled the trigger. I dropped his body to the ground and grabbed MinHo by the arm.