my drug | ashtray | euphoria

chapter 23: please

Fez walks back through the door, "sorry guys forgot something". he walks into the kitchen and grabs whatever he needed. i sit down on the couch and look over at Custer. he avoids looking at me and instead looks back at Fez, "you leaving?", he asks. "yeah". Fez grabs his stuff ready to leave. "i need to talk to you", Custer says looking back and forth between Fez, Ash and me. he looks at me and takes a deep breath, "the fucking cops have found your dads body".

it goes silent.... the silence is broken by Faye dropping her glass. i walk over to help her clean up, she looks over at me, "don't say anything", she whispers to me and Fez.

she stand back up and turns to Custer. she starts to talk about Laurie or something i don't know i was too busy worrying. i knew exactly what was going to happen.

i look over at Ash and see him tightening his grip on something.... a knife.. he stands up and takes a step towards Custer. "Ash no", me and Fez say at the same time. he doesn't listen. i watch as he plunges the knife into Custers neck, i watch as Fez panics and wraps his hand around Custers mouth, i watch as i realise he just killed someone... infront of my kids. shit. the kids.

i walk into the other room and sit with the kids as Fez walks over to Ash. he's telling him he's gonna take the blame, telling Ash to leave with me and the twins, Ash is refusing, he won't. what the fuck ash.

"Ash come on we need to go, for the twins", i'm begging him, "please". he walks over to me and puts his hands on my face, "you leave, you take the twins, i'm gonna stay". those words cut me deep, i'm not leaving him. he walks away and i stand there... frozen.. unable to move. Fez follows him down the hall.

i watch as Ash grabs a load of guns and stands in the bathroom, "please Ash", Fez is begging him. i walk down the hall, leaving the twins in their crib. "please Ash listen to us, for me, for Fez, for Marie and Milo". i feel the tears on my cheeks as Ash slams the door and locks it.

me and Fez start banging on the door, "come one Ash, come out please". after 5 minutes of continuous begging i back away from the door, i have a bad feeling.

i hear a noise from the door and as i look back the door falls down and armed cops flood in, "on the floor, put your hands up", they shout. Faye drops to the floor and co-operates.

i remember the twins. "please let me go get my babies", i shout at the cop pointing his gun at me, "or atleast one of you go get them please". i kneel down on the floor putting my hands behind my head as i watch a cop pick up the babies and walk out, placing them in the back of a car.

a cop leads me out and i stand against the wall outside, they start questioning me about Mouse, "he's my dad, i haven't seen him in years, i didn't know he was dead", i lie.

i don't know what's going on in the house and i didn't want to make anything worse so i stood outside, doing what the cops wanted.

until i heard gunshots... i ran inside the house and was pushed against the wall by a cop. Fez was lay on the ground screaming for Ash, he was bleeding. everything went quiet.. a cop pushed open the bathroom door and there was Ash lay on the floor, i started crying, bawling.

i thought he was gone, i went to turn away but he sat up, grabbing a gun and shooting the officer. fuck sake Ash why. i watched as the laser from a gun went from his stomach to his head, the fear in his eyes. my stomach started to turn i felt sick. he didn't say anything but he mouthed "i'm sorry" before i heard the bang and his body dropped to the floor.

i screamed.. i screamed loud. his body lay on the floor, blood pooling around his head. Fez being picked up, blood pouring from his side. the cop pushing me out of the room as i fought, trying to get out of his grip and into the room where my boyfriend, my babies father, my bestfriend, lay.. dead.