Caffrey Flashback

Chapter 34: Awakenings

A/N: This chapter includes references to end-of-life decisions and "pulling the plug." If that's a trigger for you, you'll want to skip at least the second scene of this chapter.

Burke family cabin, Catskills. Early Thursday morning. March 4, 2004.

It wasn't yet dawn when Peter woke to the sound of Neal screaming. He and Elizabeth left their room to see Noelle in a robe, already heading downstairs. She didn't seem surprised or flustered, but she may have been expecting this. Before everyone had gone to bed last night she'd said Neal hadn't shared all of his repressed memories yet. After everything they'd heard, Peter couldn't imagine what else could have happened to Neal as a nine-year-old child.

On one of the sleeper sofas, Neal rocked back and forth, his arms wrapped around his body, saying, "No, no, no." Henry was talking to Neal, but not getting any response. Satchmo knew better than to jump on a bed, but he watched with distress, and barked at Peter in a tone that demanded: Do something!

Noelle sat on the edge of the bed. "Neal. Neal, can you hear me?"

Apparently reaching his limit, Henry grabbed Neal and pushed him against the back of the sofa, putting an end to the rocking. "Neal, please!"

Noelle took one of Neal's hands between her own. She took his pulse and then rubbed his hand as if to warm it. "Is there another blanket we can give him?" she asked.

"I'll get it," said Elizabeth. Peter was glad she spoke first, because he wanted to keep his eyes on Neal until he was sure the kid was okay.

The warmth of the blanket and Henry holding him still eventually seemed to relax Neal. He pushed his cousin away and rubbed his face. "What happened? Last thing I remember was talking about the EMTs taking me to the ambulance."

"You had a nightmare," Henry said.

Neal ran his hands through his hair. "I thought everything I went through last night was supposed to end the nightmares."

"It will help," said Noelle, "but you need to tell us the rest. There are still memories fighting to the surface."

Neal looked bewildered. "But that was the end. They took Vance away and I never saw him again."

"And they took you to a hospital. You said you passed out on the way to the ambulance. What happened next?"

"I was in a coma for twelve days. I wasn't showing any signs of waking up, and they gave me an experimental drug."

###

The boy was awake, but lethargic. His eyes couldn't focus yet. He took in blurry shapes, colors and general motions without understanding them. He heard voices, with a long lag between words being spoken and his comprehending them. Movement seemed too complex for the moment. He was grateful he could breathe without effort, although he couldn't quite remember why.

His right arm was heavy, and eventually he realized it was in a cast. And something was wrapped tightly around his ribs.

There were two moving blurs in his room. People, he thought. They were talking.

Ellen. She had said, "The doctor said we have to give it time."

And Mom had said, "Look at him! He can't move or speak. His eyes aren't even tracking. He's a vegetable!"

And Ellen had said, "You aren't being fair. The doctor said it will take hours for the drug to have its full effect. He's still barely awake."

"He'd be better off dead. We should have pulled the plug after the first week. I don't know why I let you talk me out of it. It should have been my decision!"