Caffrey Flashback

Chapter 21: Old Wounds

Jacobi Hospital. Thursday evening. February 26, 2004.

The Burkes and Winslows gathered for dinner in a hospital cafeteria. George Knightley had gone back to Jones' apartment to change out of his sweats, but promised he would be back later in the evening. His knowledge of medicine and of what went on behind the scenes of a hospital had been reassuring, and Peter knew they were all relieved to hear George planned to return.

The food was better than Peter expected, given the reputation of hospital cafeterias, but his mind wasn't on his food. It wasn't on conversation, either. The few attempts by members of the group to talk about something other than Neal hadn't lasted long.

Henry pushed away his tray and said, "Sometimes you drastically change someone's life, and you don't even realize. Peter, what you've done for Neal, it's what I wanted to do. I thought maybe if I could get him into Win-Win it would turn his life around, but I was years away from being able to do it. By then it may have been too late. You've kept him out of prison, given him a purpose, convinced him there are good guys and that he can be one of them. There's no way I can thank you for what you've done."

Henry fell silent, but Noelle squeezed his arm. "There's more, isn't there?" she asked.

"Neal changed my life and he has no idea," Henry said. "I couldn't tell him at the time. He had to believe that tagging along with me was no big deal. Anything else would have been more pressure than a teenager like him could have handled. And now I can't tell him. I might never be able to tell him."

"You can tell us," Elizabeth said.

Henry glanced at Peter and shook his head. "No. Neal has immunity. I don't."

Peter saw the interest in Graham and Noelle's expressions, and the longing in Henry's eyes. Henry had always been closed-mouthed about the time he'd spent with Neal, even with his family, apparently. But Peter had a feeling the young man wanted to talk about it. Peter drew on years of experience dealing with witnesses who had a story to tell but who were afraid of incriminating themselves. He started by observing, "You said you dropped out of college when you were twenty."

"Yeah. A few months later Mom called and asked me to find Neal."

"Find him? What happened to him?" Elizabeth asked.

Peter cleared his throat. "Um, El, the U.S. Marshals made me promise not to tell anyone about Neal's childhood or where he grew up."

"The Marshals? They're in charge of Witness Protection, right?"

"That's right, hon. That means Henry wasn't supposed to know where Neal ran away from, and there's a lot he can't tell you because there are others in Neal's family who are still under protection."

"We weren't supposed to know," Noelle said, "but we did. Between the fact that my sister stayed in touch against the wishes of the Marshals, and the resources of Winston-Winslow, by the time he was in high school Henry knew where his cousin was and what name Neal was living under. When Neal ran away from home, his mother called me, and I called my ex-husband. He used Win-Win data to track Neal to Chicago. Then we needed Henry to take over. He could get into Neal's mindset to find where a teen runaway would hide."

"When I found him he had pneumonia, and I convinced him to go to a hospital. They put him on oxygen and IV drips." Henry shuddered. "I was terrified that I hadn't found him in time, and that he was going to die."

Peter could guess what had happened next. "When the hospital released Neal you decided you had to look after him."

"The doctors said he'd need a lot of rest and healthy food before he'd be fully recovered. Those hadn't exactly been high priorities for me in the prior months. I knew he'd be the same way if I left him on his own. He needed someone to stay on his case or he'd probably relapse." Henry paused. He met Peter's eyes in a silent acknowledgement that he had figured out what Peter had been doing. Then he took a deep breath and continued. "Suddenly I had a responsibility toward someone else. I had to keep him healthy, and that meant I needed to stay in shape in order to watch out for him. The longer he was with me, the more I came to see he was looking up to me. I realized I needed to set an example that I could be proud of. I... I didn't stop doing illegal things, but I started doing them for different reasons. Better reasons. It was more for his sake than my own that I found a way to finish college and get a master's degree." He paused to drink some water. "When Dad blackmailed Neal into dropping out of my life, it almost crushed me. For a while it felt like I didn't have a purpose anymore."

Graham stiffened at Henry's reference to blackmail. Henry didn't seem to notice, but Peter could tell Noelle caught it. "You didn't entirely lose contact, though," Noelle said.

"No. I don't think either of us could have handled that. We found ways to stay in touch, trying to stay under the radar. The thing is, that whole time he was with me I made sure he thought I was doing what I wanted without any consideration of him, so he wouldn't think he was a burden. What I didn't fully understand, what I didn't tell him, was that he was the best thing that could have happened to me. Without him, I might have turned into someone completely different, someone I might not respect." Henry crushed a napkin in his fist. "He never asked anything in return. But it was my job, my responsibility, to keep him alive and healthy, and I failed him."

"Oh, hush now." Noelle slid her chair closer to Henry's, put an arm around him and urged his head down onto her shoulder. "Don't give up hope. I'm certain Neal is fighting to get back to us. You've helped him build a new family here and start to accept that his long-lost relatives want him in our lives. He probably wouldn't have been able to take that step if it hadn't been for the security you gave him all those years. That's more powerful than you realize."

"Thanks, Mom."

On the walk back to the ICU waiting area, Elizabeth slid next to Peter, pulling his arm around her. "You're going along on Henry's guilt trip, aren't you?"

"It's hard not to. I knew the risks, and I authorized the op. Ultimately the team and their safety is my responsibility."

"And ultimately Neal wanted to take this assignment, and as much as you plan, you still can't control everything. I'm sure Hughes and your team would agree that you took every reasonable precaution."

They hadn't been back in the waiting room long when Hughes called Peter and confirmed what El had said. "There's no way you could have anticipated this, Peter."

"I'm sure you're right," Peter said, "but that doesn't make it any easier."

"Remember what you said during your annual review, about the team feeling like family?"

"Yeah. When I was up for the promotion I talked to a lot of managers in the office about what it was like to be in charge of a team. Several of them said they thought of their team as their adopted kids, and that helping those kids be successful was a trial and a joy, depending on the day."

"I hope you realize most of your team returns the sentiment. They think of Neal as their younger brother, and today's events have made them very protective of him. He's one of ours, Peter. Agent Wiese is still here working through the evidence, with Jones and several others helping. And there's something you need to know."

"What did they find?" Peter asked. He tried to keep his tone low key, but apparently didn't succeed because the others with him in the waiting room were staring at him. He listened to Hughes, nodded and said, "Yes, sir. I'll be there with Henry Winslow."

"What is it?" Elizabeth asked as soon as he ended the call.

Peter rubbed his face. "It's like a bad dream. Henry, you offered to play the role of Nick Halden. Can you really impersonate Neal?"

Henry nodded. "Yeah. I even have blue contact lenses. Who do we need to fool?"

"God, where do I even start? All along, Tricia distrusted the level of coincidence in this case. We had Kate, Adler's lawyer, and the people running Highbury all conspiring to get Neal to Enscombe at the same time. Tricia pushed Frank Churchill on that topic, and based on what he said, she thinks she's onto something. But Churchill is refusing to give us the information we need because he thinks he got away with it. Tricia has asked us to let Churchill see Neal – or Henry as Neal – in a follow up interview tomorrow. It could rattle him enough to give us the mastermind behind all of this."

"Behind what?" Graham asked.

Peter was silent for a minute, unsure how to break the news to Neal's family. "I like my job. Elizabeth will attest that I spend most of my time being an FBI agent. When I'm working a case, I know what I'm doing. I'm usually in control and I can see that I'm helping people. This... Circumstances like this drive me nuts. I can't do anything to make Neal recover. I have to stand by and watch doctors and trust they know what they're doing. But I'll promise you, the people who hurt him are going to pay. My team and I are going to make sure of it. Whatever Neal goes through here, it won't be in vain."

"Are you saying the overdose wasn't an accident?" Noelle asked.

Peter nodded. "It's looking like attempted murder."