regret

Surviving alone

When Jaskier woke up the next morning there was a strange numbness in him. Almost as if everything inside him stopped caring about the tall, white haired Witcher. It took him three days till he was at the place where they started their journey up the mountain, where they left roach.

He didn't took roach with him, scared it might lead to Geralt seeing, yelling at him again. He still took a horse that wasn't rightfully his but the previous owner was dead so it probably wouldn't bother anyone. The horse he took was a dark brown mare with white socks.

She was a sturdy build and calm he already tried to see how shed react to him playing the lute and the girl didn't mind at all, so he took of with his new travel companion wich he named "Beetle", because she had the same colour as the small bug next to her.

As he rode off towards the coast, complaining to beetle about the events that happend on the mountain, he started to form his recent adventure into a ballad.

After he travelled for about two more days he finally reached a small town and luckily found a tavern where he could gather some coin for food and a bed. He started his performance as usual with an old classic of his " the fishmongers daughter" dancing through the room flirting with some girls. He continued his show with his knew ballad and was happy to see how well it was took by the commoners, as the evening took on he gained enough money to stock up his savings and rent a room for the next three nights including a place for Beetle. He also got drunk enough to sleep with the next best man he found who responded to his flirting.

When he woke up the next morning, to a naked not too bad looking man in his bed he groaned. He himself was naked and he had no interest in further contact with this guy -he couldn't even remember his name- he stood up careful not to wake the other guy and started to dress himself, hoping when he got back from breakfast the guy would already be gone.

"hello darling would you be so kind to tell me how much I have to sing today to get free food?" the bard smiled at the not so lovely landlady of the tavern, "lunch till midnight Bard" the woman looked out nerved with the bold Bard " and I get half of your coins, then you can eat freely all you want"

" from 10 am till 1 am and a quarter of my coins!" Jaskier tried to negotiate " fine " she answered while rolling her tiered eyes.

" Awesome, we have deal, my Lady" Jaskier flashed his loveliest smile and winked before he sat himself on a table and ordered his long craved breakfast.

He hold his deal and was one hour later ready to perform, he started with something slower and deeper, because no one wanted to dance at 10 am. After two hours he took a break to rest his fingers and eat something more. So he lived through the day and slowly running out of songs so he partly started to just play the lute for a while. The landlady allowed him to take a longer break and he used it to go up to his room in hopes of half an hour of sleep. When he opened the door he had completely forgotten about the guy from the morning, luckily the guy was gone and it didn't look like he stole anything.

So the bard spend his three days at the tavern earning enough money to stock up his food supplies and buy new boots, because the old ones did not take the mountain well.

That's how he continued his travelling resting for a few days in some towns on his way to the coast.

When he finally arrived at the coast side he looked for a fix job and did just find one fitting for his standards. With the sturdy coin coming in he rented a room in the small cottage of an old couple with a great view to the sea. Beetle had a small stable for herself and enough fresh grass. So he spend the Winter in Oxenfurt and Live didn't suck so much for Jaskier at the moment, well it shouldn't, because he had everything he needed. His charm and flirtatious smile gave it all to him, but still he missed something.

The new ballads he wrote where full of heartbreak and hate, wich made a good impression on the young ladies, he continued to sleep with random strangers but always made sure to not get attached, and started unnecessary fights with drunken Bastards.

His mind often jumped to Geralt, always basically. When ever he talked to beetle it reminded him of roach and roach reminded him of Geralt, when he kissed a guy taller than him in a dark alley he imaged it being Geralt. Once he heard a Witcher was in town, it scared the shit out of him. That night he got so wasted that he somehow woke up next to beetle in the stable.

After living like this for a while he starts to recognize the racism against elves and tried to help. he got himself quite a reputation amongst the elves. arranging ships to take them to secure havens. He felt like having a porpoise in life again and slowly started to not sleep with everyone around and drunk much less what his was much appreciated by his innkeepers.

Everything was fine. Then he saw Yennefer of Vangerburg.

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Geralt fulfilled his destiny, he found Ciri, took care of her, trained her, did all he had to.

He was glad to have found her but he was far from happy, he mourned for Yennefer, she was some sort of pressure point in his heart. His heart was broken, because of the loss of Yennefer,

but also because of the deep silent void that followed him ever since he parted ways with the bard.

Ciri made him feel alive, he felt deeply responsible for the girl and knew she was the most important human in his life at the moment and he focused purely on her safety. at least he tried to.

I know Oxenfurt is not on the coast but now it is, and I don't want to rewrite all the occasions from the episodes so the story will continue at the points where the camera takes of