regret

one stupid blessing

" DAMN IT JASKIER"

"If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you out of my hands"

Those words played on repeat in the mind of the heartbroken bard, more sliding than walking he made his way down the mountain. Coursing Geralt, Yennefer, those stupid dragons, Geralt and every fucking stone he stumbled over. He doesn't need this stupid handsome Witcher to live. no he already survived without this horse-arse and would continue to do so!

Sure he somehow had expected for Geralt to realise one day that he was not the most awesome travel companion, but why for fucks sake on this mountain?! Full of creatures and stupid rocks and no real good food and so far of any civilisation? How is he- a Bard who earns his food by entertaining others- survive on this goddamn mountain? Stupid Yennefer to break up with Geralt on the mountain couldn't she have waited to break the heart of the Witcher till they were off the mountain? and why was it suddenly his fault that Yennefer had no interest in him? Not that he wasn't at least a tiny bit happy that his Witcher wouldn't sleep with that scary witch anymore but still what a bitch to just break Geralts pressous heart like that?

So the bard mumbelt on to him self making slowly his way further apart from the Witcher, he actually didn't want to leave, a few lone tears making their way down his face as he continued.

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" fuck "

Geralt mumbeld after a minute just staring a the place his bard stood before. Suddenly it came crushing down to him, the tears shining in the bright Blue eyes, the deeply hurt face of the Bard.

His Bard.

Fuck, why did he said that? He did blamed Jaskier a bit for those things but he knew Jaskier was not alone to blame for all of this and shit now his bard is just as gone as Yenn and he is alone again. as he always wanted. He felt no relief. I could problably still to catch up to him, but maby the bard is better of on his own. At least he couldn't get himself in trouble anymore because of Geralt. Geralt convinced himself ignoring that weird ache in his stomack as he made his way to the camp. he slowly started to pack his stuff together and started to make his way down the mountain.

As he set camp, after a whole day of walking, he Remeberd how the bard would always start the fire while he was hunting for food and was just slightly suprised to see that the fire has not been lit by Jaskier already, when he came back with a dead bird. The ache in his stomack grew even more.

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it was dark and freezing. the small fire the bard put on was on the verge of going out but Jaskier didin't dear to move single muscle. around him the sounds of the night seemed to grow and Jaskier was fucking scared. sleeping in the wild was way more easy when you had a scary Witcher as your companion, but that was behind him he had to do this on his own now. without Geralt. tears started to enter his eyes again as his mind wandered off to the Witcher he somehow started to love. yes fucking love, shit. the sounds around him grew with every breath he took and the shadows got longer, eventually Jaskier did put another log in the flames, because fire would keep certain beasts away. to distract himself more and to get some sort of Therapie ha also started to play a small Melodie on his lute and sang what came to his mind

in the distance he saw another light, something inside him wanted to go there in hopes of some sort of safety, but he decided to stay at his own camp. his mind trailed off again, still playing his lute but he stopped singing, thinking what he would do when he reached the bottom of the mountain. i could pay roach a visit, she wouldn't mind if i instead of Geralt would take her with me, would she? and Geralt certainly deserved to loose his horse.. For fucks sake he problably cared more about the horse than the cared about Jaskier..

and he wouldnt need to take roach away completly just till the next tavern.. he would leave Geralt a note of course of course or what if not?

no no he will leave a note and ride on roach till the next tavern, where he could leave her till Geralt arrives and by then he would be already gone yes that he would do.

the bard slowly drifted of to sleep, leaning against a big old tree, lute still in his arms.

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after Geralt lit his fire on his own and got ready to go to sleep he noticed another fire not to far away. a strange urge took over him and he slowly and silently made his way over to the fire in the distance. as he made his way through the bushes he started to see the figure leaning at a tree next to a small campfire and heard the silent familiar sound of a lute.

Jaskier

the bards body was tense and his heartbeat faster than usual, he was scared. he sang something Geralt couldn't really understand but it sounded deeply sad. Something inside Geralt was relived to see that the bard managed it to survive the day but still the ache in his stomach grew on. As he saw the bard guilt rose in his chest and all of him screamed to go to the bard, take him in his arm and let him know that he is sorry, but he froze. the small voice in his head was back. Jaskier was still responsible for the child suprise and the stupid Gin and anyway Jaskier was better off without him, no monsters who could harm him when Geralt was to late. he already survived without you by his side. he shouldn't need you, you don't need him.

so he just stood there in the safety of the shadows watching as his bard drove of to what seems to be an really uncomfortable sleep.

Geralt stayed there for at least an hour before he decided to go back to his camp, not before checking the environment for any possible dangers and laid down to try and get some sleep.