Who really is Denki Kaminari

Chapter eleven

Kaminari point of veiw ~ I just laid limp on my bed with bruises on my body and cuts from my wrist all the way to my elbow that were bleeding out. I sighed thinking about my life choices. Sometimes I think the kids in class are right I am weak and defenseless. I can't even stop my attackers from hurting me all the time. Are they really attackers if u just let them have their way with me all the time.

It's been like this since I was a child. And it's always that same kids as well. I hate them with a passion. And they are the only reasons why I am in this school in the first place. I never wanted to come here. But they forced me too saying that if they didn't they would ruin Alex, Russ and Nick. Even though I know that wouldn't happen I just don't want to take the chance.

It started off with verbal bullying in elementary school but I was protected by my cousins and two best friends until they hat to move away in fourth grade. After they left it started to get physical. By the time we got to our last year of junior high it became sexual. Not even my own siblings know about what is going on. I keep everything hidden from them.

Sometimes I wish that I didn't because then my siblings would take care of it but I don't want them too. I thought I could handle it on my own but I honestly can't anymore. It's just too much.

And it's gotten worse seeing as my attackers have started threatening me with telling my crushes that I like them and how big of a slut I am. They have so much leverage over me including videos and pictures at this point I am inclined to believe them.

Sometimes I like to think about what Kenny used to tell me when I was little about never letting your standards go down when it comes to the person you want to spend your life with. Keep your expectations high because if they can't meet them they aren't worth it.

But I'm not worth it. No one with the expectations I set will ever date me because of them and because what they have done to me and what they can show my potential lover at anytime. I am just destined to be alone with my attackers for the rest of my life. And I if I'm being honest I don't deserve to be happy.

Sometimes I even wonder if I deserve to live. I just want to end it all at times but then there are the moments when my phone rings and I know who it is a smile comes to my face. I pick up the phone "hi Dev"I said with a smile. When I talk to my sister dev all the pain in my body goes away and she makes me feel safe.

When the call ends I am in a much better mood. Then my phone rings again and I'm happy just like when I talk to my sister and this time it not my sister it's one of my childhood best friends and cousins calling and a group chat.

"Hey guys"I said smiling. We talk for hours on end. Then more recently when I am feeling down like this I get a call and it's not from anyone in my family it's one of my crushes. Even though they don't know it more recently they have started to also become my source of happiness as well. But I don't tell them that.

"Hey Bakugo what's up"I asked "the idiots and I will be in your room in fifteen minutes with sleeping bags, blankets, pillows, and lot of snacks for a surprise sleepover so make sure your decent by the time we get there got it dunce face"Bakugo said making me smile.

They have been including me more in their surprise sleepovers and other activities weather it be in my room or one of theirs. And I'm happy that they want to hangout with them. If I honestly didn't have anyone not just my family, childhood friends or them I don't think I would've lasted as long as I have.

And I want to keep lasting even longer even if I know they won't return my feelings for me when they figure everything out. I just hope everyone stays at the end with me when everything ends up blowing up in my face.

End of chapter