W.S.S.H.

Relationship Help From Paper

Sorry that took so long, I’m back now.
I was starting to think you drowned.
I had to eat dinner.
How was the lake?
Good, It was fun I guess.
I’m guessing by that you can swim?
No, I just splashed around in the sand. Of course I could swim.
No need to get defensive, just asking.
Aright, alright, sorry.
Quite alright Mr. Watson, just playing around.
Hilarious. It felt weird writing sarcastically, obviously he couldn’t pick up on it, but I hoped he was able to anyway, otherwise it might come across that I actually did find it funny, which I most certainly didn’t.
Was Greg fooled?
For the most part, I think. You did a good job in tricking him.
Well I’m glad. I don’t think I trust him as much as I trust you.
You barely know me.
Yes, but I know that I trust you. You have a good heart, even if I can’t see you.
How do you know I’m not some tattooed fat man who just tries to portray himself as a teenager?
Well, I guess I can’t be sure, but I’m going to go with my gut feeling and say that you’re just regular old John Watson.
In all fairness I guess I don’t know who exactly you are either, so we’re even on the whole mystery thing.
We will see each other as time goes on.
Why can’t we just see each other now, I’ll tell you my address, you can come over and we can talk face to face. I couldn’t help but be excited at the possibility of meeting him.
It’s much more complicated than that Mr. Watson; you’ll see when the time is right.
Whatever you say.  
I can almost hear the annoyance in your writing, so I apologize now, but only time can tell what will happen between us.
You make it sound like some sort of love story.
If you look at it deeper and remove all love then yes, I guess it sort of is.
Not only awkward, but kind of creepy. Changing the topic completely…
Does your family know about this book? Do they know you even have it?
No, they don’t even know I was in the caves. I told them that Greg and I had been attacked by some kids and had to escape through some bushes.
Good, I don’t think I can trust them either.
Should I be happy you trust me?
Oh yes, it’s a very good place to be. I’m not the type to trust anyone very quickly. Do you trust me Mr. Watson?
Yes, of course I do. It’s not like you’ve got anyone to tell anyway.
If you put it like that yes, I guess it wouldn’t really matter if you trusted me or not. It’s good that you do though; you do understand that I’m always going to be here for you right?
Well I don’t think you’ve got anywhere to go.
No, I mean metaphorically. You can come to me with any problem you may have, whether it be another math problem or how to overcome drug addiction. I’ll give you my best answers and devote myself to helping.
Thanks Sherlock, that actually makes me feel a lot better. But, if I can ask, how do you know all this stuff? I don’t even know half the answers to those questions.
I have what you would call a very elaborate mind. I barely forget anything; I just have to find my way back. I am very gifted intellectually.
Lucky.
Don’t be so mad with yourself, you are much more talented in the social and physical side of things than I am.
Sports and friends won’t get you very far in life.
That’s rubbish, you could go off to be a professional athlete, or get a really good job because you aced the interview whereas I would just stumble and scowl and fail miserably.
Well I guess you’ve got a point. But enough with self-pity, you pretty much know all aspects of my life, how about yours?
Well, you already know about my brother, my parents are two normal people and I graduated school so I don’t think I have very much to say.
Do you have a job?
Not at the moment, like I said, I’m not the best at people skills.
Fair enough. Where do you live?
I don’t want you to come tracking me down, it would be quite awkward.
Why not?
We will meet when I’m ready, when that is I’m not sure, soon though.
Fair enough.
Any plans for tomorrow?
School, but that’s it.
I guess you can make some too. I assume Greg will be over?
Yes, but I can always change that.
No, just asking, I don’t want to get in the way of you and your friends. They are people in your life while I’m just some words on paper.
You’re getting very emotional, it’s like I’m going to die or something.
No, nothing like that.
Oh good, I guess. I checked the clock, 8:49, almost time to get to bed. I’ve got eleven minutes before my mom comes in to make sure I’m in bed.
Go ahead then, sleep tight Mr. Watson.
Not saying I’m leaving, just give me a second to get changed. You don’t have eyes or anything do you?
I cannot see you or anything around you no.
Okay, just making sure. I got to my feet, changing as quickly as I possibly could into my pajamas and turned out the light. I knew my mom was coming soon, so I got in bed and buried under the covers with a flashlight, a pencil, and the book.
Okay, all good, I’ve got a couple of minutes.
Are you supposed to be asleep?
Not yet, no.
Okay then. I heard knocks on Harry’s door down the hall, my mother calling for her to go to bed.
Well now I am, but I’ll stay up.
“John time for bed!” mom called.
“I’m already in bed, goodnight mom!” I shouted back, and waited for her footprints to disappear down the hall.
Now what’s happening?
Nothing, mom just came around.
Then you should be in bed Mr. Watson.
I am.
Oh, so the book is with you.
Yes.
Let’s not push the relationship; I want to take this slowly.
That better have been a joke.
It was a joke yes.
You’re lucky.
What would you have done?
Nothing probably, but that’s super weird.
Yes, I agree.
It’s so cool to have a secret friend, and you don’t even make noise. I could stay up all night talking as loud as I could and my parents wouldn’t even wake up.
So now we’re friends?
If you want to be… I consider you my friend now.
Thank you Mr. Watson, that actually means a lot to me. I guess I do consider you as my friend.
Cool, I’m friends with a book.
We both know I’m more than a book.
So you said you knew some stuff on relationships then, right?
Sort of, I myself have never had a girlfriend.
Do you know how to get one of them to notice you?
Kidnap their family and hold them for ransom.
I’m serious Sherlock; there is this really cute girl in my grade.
Name?
Mary Morstan.
Well, I’d say do something cool, score the final goal in football, answer all the questions right, tell a funny joke. Usually I am the one to sit in the back of the class and hope no one notices me.
You’ve never had a crush?
Never said that.
Who was it?
A very interesting person, I doubt you’d know them. I think it’s because of them I’m here today.
Oh come on, I won’t tell. Are you over them?
Yes, you could say that. But my crush now is better.
Come on, I told you mine.
Well who am I going to tell, page nine? You can go telling everyone you know!
I won’t, you know that.
Only time will tell, but until then get that Mary before someone else does.
I’ll try. I glanced over at the clock on the dresser, 9:08. Sorry, I need to sleep, see you in the morning.
Good night Mr. Watson. I stuffed the book under my pillow, yawning and shutting my eyes. It was weird how normal I felt, it was like talking books came around every other day. But this one is my friend, he actually does have human emotions, he can talk to me and be the friend I never had, other than Greg of course. I wondered what I could possibly do to impress Mary, I don’t play any school sports just because I hated everyone on the team, I don’t have any classes with her, this was going to be harder than I thought. It only made me wonder who Sherlock’s so called crush was, and how she made him what he is today. As he said, only time could tell.

                The alarm clock got a fist in it when I woke up, dragging myself to the floor and changing. After the bathroom and breakfast I was out the door yet again, waiting for the bus. Third day of school and I was already in the schedule like I had been doing this for months. The book was in my arms this time, it wasn’t raining and I didn’t want to stuff it into my bag again. So here he was, in my arms. The bus arrived shortly and I waded down the aisle, sitting beside Greg with a welcoming smile.
“Hello.” I said.
“Anything new?” he asked.
“Is that all that can be on your mind right now?” I pointed out.
“No, just wondering.”
“Then no, I tested it a little bit but nothing is new so I didn’t obsess as much as I had before.” I shrugged.
“That’s a shame.”
“You’re all ready for this big robot guy to come popping out the top aren’t you?” I laughed.
“Well ya, that would be extremely exciting.” Greg admitted.
“That would be cool, but even if there is space for a little brain I doubt there is space for a whole robot.” I defended. Sherlock couldn’t be a robot, right? He didn’t seem like a robot, that was for sure, but I guess there wasn’t much I knew about him.
“I’m exhausted, bloody swimming really takes it out of you.” Greg complained.
“I’m tired too, but I guess there isn’t much we can do about it now, unless you’re brave enough to fall asleep in Mrs. Fletcher’s class.” I laughed. Greg cringed at the thought, I heard that if she caught you eating that she send you straight down to the principal and tries to get a suspension. My parents would kill me if that happened.
“So anything new in general, not just the book?” Greg asked.
“No, not really, you?”
“Boring as ever, although I did beat that level I was talking to you about, the one with the alien soldier things?”
“Oh, great.” I muttered, somehow I couldn’t care less. He rambled on for the rest of the ride and to our lockers about how he beat it and the next level and a whole bunch of stuff that I was happy to ignore. When I was finally done packing up I went to math, where I was actually pretty early. I sat in the backseat again, getting Sherlock out and a pencil. Oh good, I started to refer to the book as Sherlock. That’s perfectly normal.
It’s me again, tired and bored.
Hello tired and bored, who told you to go to sleep at the right time?
Are you my mother now?
That would be extremely complicated, and I believe that position is already filled.
Ya I don’t quite know how that would work.
So, you’re in Algebra, obviously, so I’d say happy two days!
Crazy girlfriend and mother at the same time! Sherlock you are seriously weird.
My apologies Mr. Watson.
No need to apologize just kind of creepy.  
Two days is a lot, just see how much we’ve gotten to know each other.
Yes, it’s heartwarming…
This book has been down there for ages, I have been alone for even more and it’s quite nice to finally have someone to talk to.
Yes, I bet it is.
Sarcasm?
Actually no, not this time. I couldn’t imagine being alone for, sorry, how long?
Mr. Watson I must again inform you of the timing of some of your questions.
Just trying to keep you on your toes.
Of course.
Class is about to start and I think some people are wondering what I’m writing every day. It must look like some secret diary. And I’m smiling too, probably shouldn’t smile.
You must look like a mad man.
Well considering where I got this… bye. I scribbled the farewell as the teacher started going on about fractions and rubbish that we’ve probably learned about years ago. I kept the book on my lap, almost paranoid someone would come steal it, or ask about what it was, I knew people wouldn’t necessarily care about it, but there was still that little voice in the back of my mind, whispering that they wanted it, they would steal Sherlock away from me and I’d never see him again. That very thought made me shiver a little bit, looking over my classmates to see which one would be the first to crack.