That Pretty Fake Smile

|18|-tragedy

Cyrus's POV
My head was aching and more than that, my right arm hurts. Where am I? I couldn't open my eyes. They felt too heavy. I heard sobbing sound. Someone was crying? But why and who? I slowly opened my eyes. Everything was blurry so I blinked few times. White ceiling? Hospital? What I am doing here? Wait- that truck! We had accident! Where is Zayn? Is he okay? As I sat up, mom rushed toward me. Her eyes are swollen from crying.

"Ohh my baby. Are you okay?" mom asked, sitting on stool beside me

"Wh-where is Z-zayn? Is h-he okay? Z-zayn... H-he-"

"Stop asking about him. It's all his fault that you are in hospital. I don't give a fuck even if he is dead" mom said

"No! Don't talk about him like that! I was driving. The accident is my fault. Just tell me where he is. Please tell me he is okay" tears start rolling down from my eyes

"I don't. I just know he is in operation theatre" Mom said

Doctor and nurses entered the room before I could ask anything else. They start examining and asking questions. Many glass pieces pierced in my right arm and leg, but they will heal soon. Doctor said I am already. After they were done I asked

"How is Zayn?" I asked them, I was panicking so badly

"He is not good. His head is badly injured. He is in operation theatre" doctor said

W-why? It's all my fault. It's all my fault. I am the reason his condition is that bad. It should have been me. He protected me.

"I can't understand. The accident was pretty bad and that other is also in very bad condition. How this guy is not seriously injured?" a nurse whispered to other

"It's my fault. Just a second before truck collided with our car, he jumped from his seat and protected me. He wrapped his arms around head and covered me with his body. It's my fault. He is gonna die because of me. It's my fault" I put my head in my hands and sobbed

He will die because I drove badly. It's my fault. I am sorry. I am sorry. It should have been me inside operation theatre.

"Don't blame yourself Cyrus. I understand how you feel. He will be fine. He saved you so god will save him too" mom said rubbing my back

"Don't blame yourself son. It was an accident. It was no one's fault" Dad said

"I-i w-wanna see him. I don't want him to die. Dad, I will never forgive myself if he die. I want him to annoy me again. I still haven't told him how I feel" I cried as I grip dad's shirt

"You always help me. Help me this time too dad. I don't wanna lose him" I cried

"Everything will be fine. Operation will be successful. Don't worry son. He won't die" Dad said as he hugged me

"t-take me where he is" I said, pulling away from the hug

"Come on, I will take you" Dad said as he helped me to stand up

"Please be careful. You are injured too" mom said

We took the elevator and went two floors up. I was scared. I was nervous. I don't wanna lose him. Dad took me to waiting room because operation was still going on. As we enter waiting room, everyone's swollen tear filled eyes turn toward me, making me feel more guilty. Emma, Daniel, Lukas and his mom and dad. His parents weren't crying but they do look stressed. Emma come toward and asked me if I was okay. I just nodded and sit down on one of the chairs. Lukas was glaring at me but I ignored. Every passing minute increased my worries. Guilt was eating me up inside and pain was breaking me. My heart was aching. I couldn't think of anything else instead him. 3 Hours passed, the operation was still going on. And I was passed for 4 hours so operation was going on for 7 hours.

"Why are you still here kartz?" Lukas asked

"Don't" Daniel warned Lukas

"Shut up slave" Lukas spat

"I think it's you who should shut up. Zayn treat Daniel like his own brother so don't you dare call him slave" Emma said

"Instead of taking bullshit, you should just leave with your brother. Your brother is the reason my brother is between death and life" Lukas sniffed

"You-"

"Please Emma. He isn't wrong. It is my fault but I am sorry I can't leave. I wanna see him okay" I said, still looking down

"ohh please. Can you stop this drama already? I had warned him multiple times but he never listen and now... He is on death bed because of you" Lukas start crying bitterly

I too couldn't control my tears anymore. I didn't want this to happen. He is really important for me. I.... I love him. I keep denying it because I was scared of love. I was scared of getting hurt but I can't keep denying it anymore. I am sorry I took too long to realize. I am in love with Zayn Green Carver. I don't want him to die. I know it's my fault like last time. Ray died because of me too. I am bad luck. I can only hurt people.

"I am sorry. I am so sorry" I cried

"Don't apologize Cyrus. I understand how you feel but it's really not your fault. It was truck driver's fault. Don't blame yourself otherwise when boss will wake up, he will scold me that I let his precious Cyrus take blame and feel guilty" Daniel said, tears falling from his eyes too

I chuckled at his choice of words and Emma too giggled.

"Yeah, he will kill both of us if we wouldn't take care of you" Emma said

"He protected me guys. Our car suddenly stopped in middle of road and he was sleeping. Before I knew it a truck was just few inches away from hitting us. Zayn woke up from my scream and Just a second before truck collided with our car, Zayn covered me and my head with his body. That's why he is so badly injured and I am fine. if he haven't protected me, he would be in better condition. I am sorry" I sobbed

"No Cyrus. You got it all wrong. Protecting you was his own choice. And if he wouldn't have protected you and something happened to you, he would have surely died. He cares about you more than you think. That guy can die for you without feeling any regret" Daniel said

I still blame myself but his words comforted. I am thankful for having him and Emma by my side.

Zayn... Please be alive. They need you. I need you.

***