The Scary Survivor

8||My oldest brother

"Sometimes I wish I could
hurt you the way you hurt me,
but I would never be that ruthless"

Astrid Ebe Russo

The bullet wasn't mine and that just meant one, that bullet was meant for me and the one who pulled the trigger got a wrong target, intentionally.

Like they don't want to kill me.

But the question stood still. Who the fuck was that?

I went out of the door as quietly as possible, still a little bit shaken up about the entire situation.

I wasn't sure what I should be doing now. Inform the others? I wanted to inform them but to be safe, I left my phone in the school. They must have took it and assumed that I was out for the mission.

I was still shaken up with the fear that someone knew who I was. That I was Phoenix but I was also Astrid. That was a scary thought, for it promised a lot of things, and the most scariest was my death.

For a girl who has came face to face with death about a thousand times, I was afraid.

For a girl who has brought a lot others death, I was afraid.

Afraid to die.

Afraid to die because I know people won't even realise they lost another one of them.

The world would just be the same, cruel and beautiful, doesn't matter who is alive and who lost their life.

I know that because I have killed many, innocents, murderers, infants, and the list goes on.

I may not have killed my mother, but I am still a murderer of people that did nothing wrong.

I knew a bullet through my head wasn't a way someone like me should die, a person like me should die a death,

More painful than life, more brutal than life, more gruesome than life.

Because life itself was the most painful death.

My skin was scarred with the hatred of people, and no one could ever change that because no one could ever bring people back from death.

The tears that burned inside my eye was a proof that I was afraid and that I was still the 6 year old they left on the cold forest.

Wiping the tears away, I walked slowly to the exit, mind still numb from the past happenings. It was like I didn't even know where I was going, I was moving but I didn't know where.

As I neared the exit, I saw a familiar face that made my already worse day, even worse.

Luca

He was standing there with a couple of his friends who looked no more than 19. My pace became even faster when Luca turned around, even though my legs were numb, I managed to push myself into a corner, just enough to be away from his eyes and the rest was all a blur, I ran and ran and ran, like I always do.

Run away from your fucking problems bitch, run away like the coward you are.

I managed to reach school without getting killed or caught, just in time for further maths, I hated maths yet I still had to pick further maths cause apparently I am smart enough get into it, or that's what the head of the year, I don't know his name, said anyway.

The thing is I'm smart enough to get into a smart class but not smart enough to do good in it.

I practically crawl to my class, M6, as slow as I could, my mind still clouded with the fact that I nearly got killed 30 minutes ago.