Its time

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I wake up and remember that Chris is in my bed, I look up and he is still fast asleep, I'm still on his chest and his arms are still around me. I smile. Everything with Chris just felt right, but I also had that guilty feeling like I was doing something wrong.
"Good morning beautiful" Chris stretches, I look up at him
"Good morning"
"You sleep okay?"
"I did thank you. You?"
"Very well. And no hangover thank god"
I laugh, I pull away from him and go to get out of bed. I hear him whimper
"It's cold now your gone" I laugh "come on you big baby, you have a flight to catch in 3 hours"
"Okay, I'm getting up"
I grab some sweats and a shirt and make my way to the kitchen. Seb and Lily are still fast asleep so I try to be as quiet as I can.
I finish making coffee and I hear Chris come up behind me, I hand him a mug "thank you"
He looks over to the sleeping couple and smiles.
"Im glad they worked everything out. There kind of perfect together"
"Yeah they are"
He turns to face me and smiles, he places his mug on the kitchen top and put his arms around my waist.
"How are you feeling about last night?"
"I don't know.....I enjoyed it...but I don't think I'm ready just yet. I'm sorry"
"Hey don't apologise. I understand, I like you a lot Abbie and I would love to see if anything comes of this but if your not ready then that's okay. I'll always still be here for you no matter what"
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him in for a hug "thank you"
He kisses my cheeks and we stand there for a while, as we pull away. I feel my self wanting to kiss him. I linger with my hands at the nap of his neck and I pull him in slowly. I press a soft and sweet kiss on his lips and he smiles
"I know I'm not ready but I like kissing you"
"I like kissing you too" he smiles and goes to kiss me again when we hear a huge thump from the living room. As we walk over, we can see Seb on the floor and Lily flat out and now spread out on the sofa.
"You okay there Seb?"
"No! She pushed me out"
We both laugh "hey, volume please my head is pounding"
"Well you guys did drink a hell of a lot last night"
"I need food"
"In the kitchen"
He walks passed me and kisses my cheek "thank you"
I giggle, Chris looks over at me and winks. I can't help but smile. I let Ellie out and feed her too. She has really settled in well and everyone loves her.
We finish up breakfast and seb and lily say there goodbyes to Chris. Once they leave Chris grabs his things and he makes his way to the door.
"Well, I guess I'll see you in a couple of months"
"Yeah I guess so" I look down at the floor "I'm going to miss you"
"I'm going to miss you too"
He pulls my chin up so I'm looking at me, he leans in and kisses me so sweetly, I can't help but smile. I pull him closer and deepen the kiss.
Once we pull apart we are both catching our breath
"Hmmmm"
I giggle "you better go"
"Yeah, I'll try and ring or text whenever I can okay"
"Okay, just get there safely and have fun with you family. And good luck with the film"
"Thank you. Just stay this positive, amazing person okay. Don't change. I'm hoping when Im done with filming I can maybe take you out on a date?"
"I like the sound of that"
He smiles, he kisses my cheek and he heads off. I wave goodbye and close the door. I look around, once again I'm alone. The house feels so empty. Ellie comes running over and I pick her up and walk towards the spare room. I open the door and I see all of Eric's things.
I need to move on, Chris is right Eric wouldn't want me to be alone forever and I can't hope to find love again if I'm still holding on to Eric.
This is going to be hard but I know I can do.
I set Ellie down and start sorting through everything. I cry, I laugh and I get angry. Eric had so much stuff, but I finally have it sorted. I have boxed up a few things I think Lily would like and I have kept a box of things too. But everything else is either being donated or thrown away.
I fill my car with the boxes and head on out, I drive to a donation centre and then to the rubbish tip. When I get back home, I walk into the spare room and I look around. It looks so bare. I decide it needs a lick of paint and a bit of a spruce up. So I get to work.
I feel good, this feels good. Maybe by the time Chris is back, I will be ready to take that next step with him. Who knows but right now I'm so proud of myself and I know Eric would be too.

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