I lost all my faith and lost all hope that everything means anything at all
Stevie stares at Don as he bustles around the room, shoving things into suitcases. Stevie can't stop her tears, but manages to keep her sobs down so she doesn't wake her daughter sleeping against her chest.
Lily had just turned one, and Don suddenly decided he couldn't be a father. He stormed in, fought with her until they were both red in the face from screaming, and started packing.
"I can't believe you're leaving," She says, stroking her fingers through her daughters silky blonde hair to keep herself calm.
"I told you I can't do this, Stevie. I told you that when you got pregnant and I'm telling you again."
"I thought you loved me," She whispers, wiping her tears with her free hand.
"Well, I'm a good fucking liar."
She looks away, out the window, so she doesn't break down again.
"I gave up everything for you. For this," She says, swaying softly when the baby begins to stir. "I lost myself to be who you wanted."
"I didn't want this," He says, stopping what he's doing to look up at her. She shakes her head and glares at him.
"You should have said that in the beginning. Before I had to lie to myself every single day just to get through. I don't even know who I am anymore, and it's all your fault. Because you didn't man up and tell me from the beginning this is what you were going to do all along."
"Don't fucking blame me! I told you I didn't want to be a father!"
"Shh," She scolds, bouncing Lily lightly to get her back to sleep. "You told me you were scared that you wouldn't be a good dad. You never said a fucking thing about not wanting to be one."
"I didn't."
She rolls her eyes.
"What fucking ever. Watching you walk away from us is honestly easier than telling myself that you love us. Having to see you force interaction with your daughter every day is one of the hardest things I've ever had to go through."
Don shakes his head and zips up his last suitcase.
"I'll send money."
"Don't. I don't want shit from you," Stevie spits, rubbing the baby's back. She's fussing now. His yelling had woken her.
"I'm not a total deadbeat, Stevie. I want to send you money for her."
"Just fucking go," She says, shaking her head.
He knows that tone well. He knows she's in no mood for him to try and soften the reality of what's really happening.
So, he goes.
