Something Inside (Published)

Chapter 27...

Ashton's POV

All week I AWOL. I was either holed up in my office or here at home. I didn't want to see Layla because my feelings were a mess at the moment. I don't know how I feel towards her or if I was ready to move on from what Allie did to me. I avoided her at all costs this whole week and now that it is Friday I was actually starting to regret it. Even though I didn't really see her much anyways at work I missed those small times I did. I knew I was acting pathetic avoiding Layla like I was still in high school but I knew just one look from her I would be on my knees acting for forgiveness quicker than someone could say Ice Cream.

Being with Layla brought feelings inside of me I haven't felt in quite a long time, not since Allie. She made me feel like my old self and I won't deny that I miss being him. I miss being carefree, laughing with my friends, loving someone. But at the same time those feelings scared me and brought unwanted questions to mind. Was she going to do the same thing as Allie? Was I going to be left a shell like last time? I wish I could stop those thoughts but I couldn't. Allie broke me beyond repair. I don't know if I could ever get back to the way I was before.

Before Layla I was fine being the way I was. I was fine working almost every day, being cold and heartless towards everyone, fine using a girl and not caring about the reactions, I was fine being a shell. But with those few loving moments with her I didn't want to go back to my old ways. I want to change for the good. Those few moments have made me realize that what I was doing wasn't healthy or right. I liked how Layla was different than the others girls I've been with, I loved how she argued with me and made my blood boil, I loved how just one look I could practically see everything she was feeling and thinking.

I sat behind my desk thinking about everything. I wanted to change and I wanted Layla to change me. With that thought in mind I stood up and walked out of my office towards her. Now was as good time as any to finally let her know how I feel. I was just hoping that she would forgive me for everything I have done and said to her. Taking a deep breath I opened her door and stepped in. I was expecting to she her at her desk working but instead I was surrounded with darkness and an empty chair. Layla wasn't here. Frowning I turned and headed over to Judy knowing she would know where Layla is.

"Judy do you know where Layla is?" I asked coming to a stop in front of her. I really needed to talk to her and I don't want to wait another minute.

"She left about 20 minutes ago."

"Where?"

"I don't know. I think she had plans." Judy said looking at me almost apologetically.

"Oh." I tried to leave out my saddened tone but failing.

"Just call her tomorrow sweetie. I know she isn't doing anything because she told me she would just be sitting around at home." Judy said. Tomorrow? I can't wait until tomorrow! Judy must have seen the look on my face for she put her hand on my shoulder. "Ashton she is probably busy and it's a friday. Let her be until tomorrow."

I sighed and lowered my head. She was right but tomorrow first thing in the morning I will be at Layla's house. Telling Judy thanks I went back to my office to finish up a few things. That of course turned out impossible since Layla was on my mind the entire time. I don't know how many times I reached for my phone to call Layla but every time I stopped myself from going through with it. Judy was right she was probably busy. If I wanted her to forgive me than I had to give her space for the moment.

The night went by agonizingly slowly. I stayed at the office until 7 or so than headed home to try and get some rest. I also wanted to go over what I was going to say to Layla and how to get her to forgive me for my stupidness over the past month and a half.