Desperation (18+) ✔️

2. Vic

I didn't tell Reid the online store I take pictures for is for kinky people because I didn't want to scare him away from the job when he really needed the money.

Does that go against everything the kink community stands for in terms of open communication and fighting stigmas? Yes, but I was acting in his best interest. I wasn't even planning on having him do any submissive poses—I figured my boss would be happy with a muscular god in lingerie.

I certainly didn't expect him to respond so beautifully to my commands. I've always pegged him as a vanilla top—It's how I got over my initial attraction to him; knowing he wasn't what I needed in the bedroom.

But when he looked so lost at the beginning of the photoshoot, my dominant instincts kicked in and Reid took to my commands like a natural.

I can still feel his lips beneath my thumb. The image of his hooded eyes so full of trust and contentment is enough to make me hard.

But Reid is my friend. My best friend. And as much as I wish he could be... he's not my sub.

I sigh inwardly. He needs to decide if that's a side of himself he wants to pursue, and who he wants to do it with.

My chest aches at the thought of him exploring it with someone else. Whoever gets to lead his first scene... envy is not a strong enough word to describe what I'll feel.

At least I was the one who brought the submissive side out of him. And it was an honour I'll take to the grave.

I know this sudden possessiveness is irrational, but I don't know where it's coming from—I've never felt jealous of Reid's past lovers or hookups.

Because they weren't dominating him.

I guess now that we're more sexually compatible than I thought, my stupid crush is back with a vengeance.

***

Reid is fully dressed when he saunters into the kitchen. He looks well-rested for the first time in weeks.

I slide him a plate of chicken alfredo and pour him a glass of water.

"So, do you... dominate everyone you sleep with?" he asks after taking a sip. "You are dominant, right?"

It's so weird finally talking about this. It's a relief knowing there's nothing I'm keeping from him anymore, though.

I finish chewing a bite of pasta. "I don't do full-on scenes with everyone, no. But during most hookups, I'm naturally dominant with most of them, yes."

"Who do you do scenes with?" he asks, pushing the food around his plate.

"People I meet at The Guilded Paddle. It's a BDSM club."

He nods, his eyes lowered—just like they were when he was told to kneel—like a well-trained sub.

"So what do I do now?"

The way he asks is so endearing that I have to hide my smile with another bite of food. "You don't have to do anything. If you're interested, I could take you to the club with me and you could just observe." It physically pains me to say the next part. "Or I could introduce you to some of my Dom friends."

He takes this information in with wide eyes full of uncertainty.

"There's also a difference in being a sub, and just being submissive," I explain. "You might just want to look for someone on Grindr who likes to take charge. But I would feel a lot better if you experimented with someone I trust."

I would feel even better if you experimented with me.

"Take some time, think about it," is all I say.