Operation Soulmate

Coffee For Two

Heartbreak. The experience is an inevitable part of life. But that doesn’t mean it gets any easier to cope with. Each and every heartbreak hurts just as much as your first, if not more.

I stood there, furious and hurt as she disappeared from my view. How could she do this to me? I know I hadn’t been the “perfect boyfriend,” but she wasn’t a saint either. I don’t think I will ever forget the disgust and contempt in her eyes. Those eyes… those big chocolate colored eyes were once filled with love and warmth. Where did that love go?

I slowly stalked off of the deserted beach, downtrodden and disheartened.  My Vivian…. my everything. Why would she hurt me like this? Why….?

            I went back to the parking garage where my car was being held. I felt hollow. I unlock the door, slide inside, and slam the door shut. Crap. If you work too little, women don’t want you. And if you work too much, women don’t want you.  Females are so…. fickle.  A few tears streamed down my face.  I wiped them away roughly and started up the car.

            I drove home. My place was a few hours away, which was quite all right, as I needed some time to myself. Driving usually helped me clear my head.

“I don’t need her,” I thought indignantly “She doesn’t deserve me…”

My brain chanted these thoughts constantly, but they did nothing to cushion the blow. It was futile. I loved her. I loved her so much that it hurt. My chest and my insides wrenched with an unbearable pain that wouldn’t go away.

What got me the most was that some ways… she was right. Not about the bedroom skills part (that’s bull crap)…but just about everything else was right.

Before I realized, I was already at home. I stared up at my place. It was a two-story New American style home… perfect for starting a family. I remembered when Vivian and I picked the house out about six months prior. That was when I was still going to propose and we still were in love. That was when we thought that we’d start a family together. How could things change so quickly?  I pondered this question as I went inside.  I flopped on my bed, not bothering to change out of my clothes.

“I hate you Viv… I hate you for doing this to me,” I thought despondently. “But even more, I hate myself for what you said. I’m a fool for ever loving you.”

With that, I drifted off to a dreamless sleep, while wondering what was to become of my life. Things would be very different with Vivian gone...

I woke up early the following morning, as per usual. I got out of bed, trudged to the kitchen, and made a fresh pot of coffee. I accidently made coffee for two.