36: Open Hands

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With my heart still racing, I tried to calm myself down by counting my breaths. We were walking back to the group with hurried steps. Reagan wanted all of them to know that we needed to go into town to restock our supplies and be on our way immediately after. I wasn't sure what the hurry was about and hadn't bothered asking. Something in my gut told me that he wouldn't answer.

He'd changed back into his stoic self and was a million kilometers away by now, even though his body was standing right beside mine and I could still feel his physical warmth engulf me like a comfortable blanket.

"We must gather supplies now in Irima. They won't be very welcoming, just give them enough money and you'll get what you need. We have another two days trip, after that, everything you want will be provided for", Reagan announced in a diplomatic voice, void of the warmth our bond covered me in.

It made it harder to enjoy that warmth fully, but I knew that it was something I was going to need to get used to. He reminded me a little of Emmet. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing being diplomatic in matters that did not require any real emotion.

I just couldn't really imagine that being very easy. Could normal people turn off their emotions that effortlessly?

"Where are we going after that?" Debrova asked. Her sister Leana sat beside her, both nearly identical. Debrova was a pretty woman. Especially her doe-brown eyes contrasted strongly with her light blonde, almost white hair.

Reagan did not look at her and instead turned to listen if his brothers were coming. I too could hear their footsteps on the forest floor, slowly coming closer.

"Doesn't really make a difference if I tell you, you won't know it anyway", he said cooly and it took me off guard that he wasn't just diplomatic but downright rude.

Why wouldn't he look at her?

"Okay", she muttered, offended, and I could feel her discomfort and Reagan's indifference.

There was another emotion that passed through my ocean—one that made those malicious flowers of doubt sprout again.

Reagan felt contempt towards Debrova and for the life of me, I could not even begin to imagine why he would feel that way.

I thought for a moment about touching his mind and asking him through the Promised Link, but I refrained from taking that liberty.

We'd just returned to semi-normality from kissing each other—going from that intimacy to being this distant to going back to being intimate felt like a whirlwind of emotions that I couldn't live through.

I was barely managing to keep the storm at bay. Having one emotion cloud the other and be sniffed out and brought back to life again...

The commotion of that was bound to cause a ripple that would create waves. Waves meant emotions from my ocean crashing against the shore. And right now, the only shore that needed to be touched was my own. My emotions needed to stay inside. Homebound.

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