Lonely, Bored & Tired

Covered Cries

Prologue:
I just want someone to hold me, hold on to me tight like I'm going to fleet away. I just want someone to whisper in my ear that, "it's all going to be okay, you're going to be okay". And, I know I shouldn't constantly rely on someone else, but it gets lonely and hard. It gets harder and harder to keep staring at myself in the mirror, yelling that I'm going to be alright, when I don't even know who I am anymore.

I shouldn't feel this hopeless. I shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be 17-years-old and hurting myself! I shouldn't be 17-years-old and contemplating about death!! I SHOULDN'T BE LIKE THIS!!!

Yet, here I am. 3:09 in the morning, trying to cover up my gasps for air. Here I am laying on my hardened bed staring at the blurred ceiling, not knowing if it's worth it anymore.

I think it's so ironic how they say it's better to tell someone how you truly feel, but how can I tell someone who doesn't even care? I must seem so pathetic. Because, it's so pathetic that I care so much what these people think of me, but it's so much more pathetic that I think someone is going to save me.

I need to get out. I need to escape. I need to be free.

I shifted my body, so my legs were dangling off on the sides. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it now. I planted both of my feet on the cold floor-board. I slowly got up, making sure my bed didn't creak. I quickly changed into something more comfortable. I exchanged my pyjama top with a new t-shirt and and a grey hoodie. I slipped off my sweat-pants and placed my jeans on, lastly slipping on my favourite vans. I was casual but I smelt of adventure, of more.

I got out of there before I came back to my senses, and tucked myself back under my warm sheets. But, I didn't. I ran and I never looked back. And, god, am I glad I did.
~~~~~
A/N

So, I wasn't having the best of days, and this just sprang to mind. I really don't know if I should keep going :/