• 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐌𝐄 ━━ drv3 chatfic

drv3 incorrect quotes

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a/n: i really wanted to do this 

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keebo: is something burning?

rantaro: just my love for you.

keebo: rantaro, the toaster is on fire.

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kokichi: so that's my plan.

maki: are you alright with constructive criticism? i dont want to sound mean.

kokichi: no, go ahead, i want to hear it.

maki: it fucking sucks.

kokichi: that's not constructive criticism.

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kaito: bad things keep happening to me, like i have bad luck or something.

kokichi: kaito, you don't have bad luck. the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

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kokichi: let's watch sharkboy and lavagirl.

shuichi: okay.

kokichi: and make out during the scary parts.

shuichi: th—

shuichi: the scary parts.

shuichi: of sharkboy and lavagirl.

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kokichi: *accidentally hits kaito in the face*

kokichi: *trying to decide between saying 'im fucking sorry' or 'are you okay'*

kokichi: are you fucking sorry?

kaito: what the fuck is wrong with you?

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miu: you saved me. i owe you my life.

kokichi: no thanks. i've seen your life and im not very impressed.

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miu: im 10 times funnier and sexier than you

shuichi: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

miu: jokes on you i can't do math

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kokichi: is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

shuichi: does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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maki: this is such a bad idea

kokichi: then why are you coming along?

maki: one of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

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kaito: what do you call a fish with no eye?

shuichi, without looking up: myxine circifrons

kaito: 

kaito: fsh

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kokichi, holding up a python: guys, i impulsively bought a snake, what do i name him

kaito: you did WHAT

rantaro: william snakepeare.

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kaede, whispering to kaito, who's on the phone with maki: ask her something!

kaito: how are you feeling?