What Might Have Been

Just a Kiss

I caught myself watching Xian drink from his cup for the nth time. My eyes were just drawn at him, I just couldn't help but stare at him and drink in his looks.

Stop it Kimberly Sue! I scolded myself in silence, tear your eyes away from him before he notices na ginawa mo na siyang pulutan. I look down at my hands on my lap and shook my head as discreetly as I can.

'Hey, you ok? I think you had too much of a drink already'.

Startled, I looked up and stared directly at his eyes. His eyes, his hypnotic eyes that seems to tell me a million things at once, drowning me with their depth. I watched as he leaned closer, my eyes followed his hands as they touched my cheek his eyebrows creasing. And yeah, have I mentioned that I am gaping like an idiot the whole time?

'Uy! Are you ok?' he said, 'Lasing ka na noh? Tsk tsk, susumbong kita sa Kuya William mo!' he further teased with a light laugh.

I flushed and push his hands away from my cheeks ' Yeah right! Ako lasing? You wish!' I teased back.

'Oh eh bakit ka ganyan, inaalog mo kaya ulo mo kanina, I'm sure you were trying to shake off yung tama mo.'

'Hindi kaya! I was shaking my head cause i was trying to..' My voice trailed off with that last word, cause yes, as you may have guess, I almost told him that I was trying to forget that I had (have?) a crazy infuation for him. Dang.

'You were trying to what?'

Panicking, my eyes shy away from his and I blurted out the first excuse that comes to my mind. ' I was trying to erase the image of your dance moves in my head, remember those cumpolsary High School Foundation Day performances you were forced to do? Man, those were epic!'

Xian gave out a hearty laugh and I melted (again!).

'Yes, those were epic, man, I hated those days you know, I always begged Mr. Damasco (our school discpline those days) to just let me sing or play the piano instead, but wala eh. They always win, I always end up facing the horror of dancing infront of the whole school.'

'Oo nga, halatang halata kaya na napipilitan ka lang, you should have seen your face', I affirmed his statement laughing.

'Ang yabang! You were just saying that because you Chiu siblings were blessed with dancing genes!'

'Well you were blessed with exemptional musical talents, so guess that makes u seven' I stated which made him laugh harder.

'Yeah, fair enough.' he said, his beautiful eyes still dancing with amusement.

'Cheers!' he said raising his cup of beer.

'Cheers!' I replied and sipped from my gin & tonic, my eyes still glued to his face. Can I just say again that I have been dreaming of this moment for the longest time? Well, not the part where we will be drinking together, but US together, laughing, having fun. I still find it so surreal how easy it is to talk to him.

'Man, I can't believe this is happening' Xian said.

'Huh? What do you mean?' I asked, curious.

'Ha? Did I just said that out loud?' he said bashfully, scratching his head. I just gave him the eye, said nothing and made it evident that I am waiting for him to explain his statement. 'Wala, wala yun ano ka ba?' Xian said not meeting my eye.

'Anong wala? Pwede ba, narinig ko kaya you said -- '

'Ok! I said, I can't believe this is happening' Xian cut what I was saying. 'Kasi diba? I can't really remember a day or an event that we've been like this, I mean I've known you since you were in diapers but we never really had the chance to.. I guess talk like this.'