**Alicia’s POV**
“I want to tell you what all the tattoos and scars mean to me and why they exist.”
“Are you sure, Alicia, it took forever for you tell me, why tell everyone now?” said Keannia as she stands up and walks over to me.
“Positive, I want everyone to know in case Chris brings it up while he is here.”
“Okay, I’ll sit down and give you the spotlight.” said Keannia after lightly hugging me and giving me a nudge to go on.
“Firstly, the scars,” I say taking off my top and pulling down my shorts, so I’m standing in my panties and bra, “and Niall before you say anything, I want to do this, you can’t stop me from showing them. In ninth and a little in tenth grade I would self-harm on my sides and higher thighs near my panty line so no one would see in my household.” I say pointing to the faint white scars on the top of my hipbones and lowering my panties on each side to reveal more scars. “I hate myself all during middle school and high school so I decided to self-harm to get my mind off the pain. Chris, who is now one of my best friends, besides you guys, is my ex-boyfriend and in tenth grade he left for roughly a month when I was super down and he was the only person I talked to about all of this so he is the reason for the scars in some way, even though these aren’t over him. I started to purge around that time also, which is what caused me to loose tons of weight. And why I have stretch marks under the tons of scars.” I said wiping my eyes after noticing I had tears rolling down my face.
“Alicia, you don’t have to tell us this you know? This could wait.” said Niall wrapping me in a bear hug.
“Yes, I do, you need to know, you need to know the truth. I’ve held this in for far too long.”
“Okay, I’ll go sit down and let you continue.” He said kissing me on the forehead before taking his seat next to Harry and Keannia.
“Secondly, the tattoos, they all have deep meanings. The first one I got was when I turned 18 and the day before I moved to NYC, it is the cursive love on my left wrist: it is symbolic for the fact that no matter where I go, love is with me, if its family and friends or if it’s you, Niall. The second piece I got was my Chinese symbols on my ribs, my right means love and the left means peace. The third was the quote down my spine that says “Love is louder than pressure to be perfect” which kept me going when I was suicidal during ninth grade. The forth is a John Green quote “Leaving feels good and pure only when you leave something important, something that mattered to you. Pulling life out by the roots. But you can't do that until your life has grown roots.” on my left shoulder blade that is symbolic of me leaving this small town to move somewhere bigger than I could imagine, I got this when I turned twenty. And the final piece is just the deathly hallows symbol on my right forearm to represent my childhood. These all represent my entire life and how I’ve grown to be wise while remaining a small town childish loser.” I say finally running out of courage to keep going, and slumping down on the floor in the pile of my clothes. Niall rushes over to my side to pick me and my clothes to take me to lay down on the chaise with him.
“You are the bravest person I know, Alicia, I am lucky I got you to be mine.” He whispered into my ear so only I could hear it.
“I love you guys and I’m sorry I kept this from you for so long, you are like my family and I hate not having you know this giant part of my life,afterall this is the history behind me and who I am, but there is one more thing I need you all to know,” I said standing up and tugging on Niall to join me, “Me and Niall are engaged and have been for about a week now, we wanted to wait but I felt everything needs to be in the open when Chris and Lucy come so nothing too drastic comes out and you are shocked.” I say pulling the ring out of the shorts pockets and putting it on so everyone can see. I nod to Keannia mentally asking her if she is going to tell everyone her secret engagement too. She stands up.
“Also, me and Harry are engaged, it happened to day after Niall proposed to Alicia.” Everyone is staring at us four with mouths gaping wide with surprise.
“Is this too much for you all to take in at once? I knew I should have waited until later to tell you about our engagement….” I say trailing off.
______________A/N________________
Next chapter will have a good bit of drama so look forward to that. This chapter was very personal for me to write and I need to express it somehow. I did cut and I do want all of these tattoos mentioned so that bit is true. If anyone has to talk to someone about their problems just message me or something (I am a n00b at this site so just message me on tumblr: ifiretruckingloveyou.tumblr.com) I am always here for everyone. Anyways, the song for this chapter is “A Match Into The Water” by Peirce The Veil, I know it’s a lot heavier than most songs I listen to but if you don’t like that kind of music, just look up the lyrics, this song is super important to me.
XOXO Alicia.(:
