Let You Down |Azriel|

.05.

I relaxed my body into the couch that had been by the fire place in the sitting room, my back screaming in pain. My wings were out and it felt amazing to stretch them after 60 years of hiding them. My blond hair cascaded off the arm of the couch as I laid my head on a pillow. The comfort level was amazing. Amazing was the only word I could think of. I wanted to cry, I never thought I would feel so relaxed again.

"Run me through it again," Rhys requested.

We had brushed over the very basic details of my early life. "I was born in the Winter Court, or so I've been told. My parents were two Winter Court natives. People weren't wrong when they said I looked nothing like my family. My parents, brother and sisters all had stark white hair, icy blue eyes, and pale skin," my tan complexion was made even darker by the fire that had been roaring. "I was locked inside for several years until I was able to keep the fire and the wings from the sight of anyone else. I was never able to learn to fly, no one taught me and my parents were ashamed of me. When I was 20, I started working for this tavern in my village and I stayed in the cellar, my parents had kicked me out by then.

"I worked every day until I was 40, then Amarantha's guard snatched me from my walk one day. I never knew why. It never made any sense to me. Nonetheless, I was stupid in the beginning. I tried finding a way out and was caught by the Attor. He dragged me to her throne room and threw me onto the ground in front of her. This was right before you'd arrived. She lit a fire in the center of the room, I'd assumed it was to taunt me and show me what she'd taken from me. Those chains suppressed my magic, heat and all.

"She shoved my hands into the fire, they made the most horrific sounds and it smelled gods-awful. Because of the suppression, they didn't heal quickly like they should have. It took months for them to heal, and they'll be scarred for the rest of my life because of it," I held my hands up in front of my face and examined the scars that covered them.

He paused for a moment, empathy held in his eyes. "What all can you do besides the fire? I noticed you try to heal Feyre after Amarantha..."

The corners of my mouth turned down. "I can make the wings disappear if I need to, heal, conjure fire, and shapeshift."

That earned a raised brow, "what can you shift into?"

I stood from my position on the couch and stepped to the middle of the sitting room. Giving myself a large enough area to shift and not knock anything over, I went to my bear form first. I took the appearance of a regular bear, aside from the runes that covered my arms and sides. The floor shook slightly when I sat down. I lifted a paw into the air and then placed it back on the ground in front of me. Then I shifted to my second form, a large cat. Probably something between a panther and jaguar. Being a fae, though, my fur was almost purple in color, the same runes adorning my arms and sides.

I shifted back to my human form and went to lay back down on the couch. When I peaked over at Rhys, he looked as if he was calculating some highly involved equation. I waited patiently and toyed with my fingers, my stomach turning as his wheels were. My attire could have used an exchange, the bottom of my gown was tattered. Honestly, I was tired of wearing gowns, anyway. I typically dressed in pants and a long sleeved shirt when not Under the Mountain.

"You look like Tamlin," he almost whispered.

I scrunched my face, "Can I pretend you didn't just say that?"

A small smile, "I'm serious. You look like Tamlin. You possess some of his physical characteristics, but your powers are a bit strange. Fire typically comes from Autumn Court. Healing usually comes from Dawn Court, but can also be an isolated power. Your wings are Illyrian, there's no doubt about that one."

"Illyrian?" Shame started creeping into my core, how could I not know where I had come from? How could my parents have given me up so easily to random people in another court?

"The Illyrian are people that fall under the Night Court. My mother was Illyrian. Hence why I have wings like yours. But you're able to hide them, on top of your other abilities. That suggests you have a High Lord as your father."

"Rhysand, if you're about to suggest that Tamlin is my father, I think I'll lose whatever I last put in my stomach all over this floor."

That earned a small chuckle from his chest, "No, no. Not Tamlin. However, his father and brother visited an Illyrian war camp. There's no telling what they did during their stay."

I shuddered, "I don't even know what to think about that."

Another chuckle, "I'm not saying it's for sure. The only way to really know is to trap the Suriel. Tamlin wouldn't know and his brother and father are both dead."

I paused for a moment, "how do you trap a Suriel?"

He shrugged, "Some people say you've gotta set a snare and leave a dead chicken out as bait. I've tried to do it before and failed several times. Feyre's been able to do it twice, to my knowledge."

"Maybe I'll have to utilize her skills," I laughed. "I hope she's doing okay. None of that can be easy to deal with. From the moment she was dragged into the throne room to the very end. I can imagine the nightmares will be relentless." My memories of the nightmares that plagued my sleep flashed through my head and caused me to cringe.

Rhys looked into the fire, slowly falling out of touch, "I hope so, too."