The Lightly Haunted Special

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(This takes place shortly after the Juniors join the Liar's Department)



"Why the fuck are we down here?" Draco asked, his nose wrinkling in dismay.

"To get a desk for our new associates," Harry said flatly, looking around the narrow, dimly lit hallway at the back of the Ministry's atrium.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Allow me to elucidate, why are we down here? This seems like a job Asbestos could have handled."

"Hermione said it would keep us busy. And then Asbestos flipped us off and took her break," Harry said. He pulled Draco to a stop in front of the supply closet labelled Furniture.

Harry thought he heard what sounded like a faint giggle coming from behind the door, "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Draco asked.

"Hear the- that noise-

Draco ignored him, "Allow me to further further elucidate-"

"Draco."

"-Why are we, down here?" Draco said.

"I already answered that, Draco," Harry said.

"I mean, our Juniors ought to be in charge of this sort of menial work," Draco pointed out.

Harry sighed, "Hermione is doing some sort of 'orientation' with them."

"We didn't have an orientation. I didn't have an orientation," Draco said.

"You were given this job especially to fail; what's your point?" Harry said, grabbing the doorknob and pulling it open with a slow and ominous creak.

"It doesn't seem fair, is all," Draco said.

Harry narrowed his eyes, "Do you want to go through an orientation presentation? It had a packet. Hermione made a packet."

"No. Obviously," Draco said. He waved his hand into the darkened room with annoyance, "I think the lighting charm is broken."

"Genius. Figure that out yourself?" Harry asked.

"Shut up," Draco said with a frown, "What I'm saying is, we didn't have any sort of instructions, and we did fine."

Harry raised an eyebrow.

"We did!" Draco insisted. "I think learning on the job is rather essential for the Liar's Department."

"Is it now?" Harry said with flat sarcasm.

Which Draco apparently didn't pick up on, "Yes. It's the sort of job that requires innovation and quick thinking-"

"Bull-shitting."

Draco glared at him.

"Our job is being really fucking good at bull-shitting our way out of situations," Harry said.

Draco nodded emphatically, "Which is why we don't need an orientation."

"Or a packet."

"Or a packet," Draco agreed, "That might very well end up scaring the Juniors off all on its own."

Since Draco wasn't fishing out his wand to fix the lighting charm, Harry reluctantly pulled out his own, "You think so?" he asked sarcastically.

"I would assume one of the appeals of a job such as our is the lack of strict rules and protocols," Draco said.

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