Salt

The Perspired

Nerves I was accustomed to, fear too. They kept you sharp, alert, and ready for anything.

        Possibly having sex with someone I once just considered a good friend? Someone who wasn't Jesse? I think that wrecked me the most.

        Unlocking his door fervently, the keys were slipping out from his fingers because of the beating rain. It drummed on our clothes, dripping over my porcelain skin like hot condensation. A single wipe would determine if it would sink into me and melt my bones or strengthen them.

        I had so many questions. About how he thought the night went, about myself, how he was feeling; it was never-ending. And my brain was fried.

        But so was my bloodstream. It was running hot, and wild, and free.

        Stepping inside, we'd just hung up our jackets when his mouth was on me again. Desperate, aching, but not dominant; I responded in kind. Apart from the past few months, I'd never given much thought to kissing Ambrose, but right now, it was all I lingered on.

        I loved the way his hands touched me, trailing his black painted marks, nails lightly slicing into my skin as he held me against him. He wasn't afraid I would let go, more like he didn't trust himself not to.

        I disconnected from him for a hot second to scour the surroundings. I couldn't be too sure.

        "Are we..." My breath hitched as he nibbled my jugular. It was my ultimate sweet spot. "Are we alone?"

        He nodded to my skin. "Mom is at work and dad's... wherever."

        Somewhere in me, I felt a pang, but it passed quickly when his hands wrapped themselves around my wrists, as we stumbled onto the wall. I lost breath again and he took it as an invitation to connect our mouths.

        Kicking off our shoes, we retreated to the lounge. Since all the lights were still off, it made for a scene of stumbling into furniture and random things on the floor. I disguised my laugh every time but due to the dizziness of my head I wasn't sure on how it came across.

        It couldn't have mattered too much, since Ambrose pulled me to him as he relaxed down on the arm of the couch. My fingers were already prying his shirt off. He flinched, only for a moment, but I still noticed.

        "Are you okay?"

        He exhaled heavily, but my panting was enough to fog up his glasses for the both of us.

        "Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of excited, actually." When I made no attempt to comment, he pressed a gentle kiss to my shoulder. "I haven't... I mean, I haven't–"

        It dawned on me. I took a small step back.

        "Ambrose, are you a virgin?"

        He chuckled. "No! What I meant was that it's been a long time."

        I mentally said my thanks. It wouldn't have been a huge problem if he was a virgin, but I definitely would have hated myself if he'd ended up regretting the experience. The last thing anyone wants to end up being is a mistake.

        My hands twisted around his curls, holding on because I never wanted to lose.

        "Ambrose, it's okay. Do you really think I've had sex since Jesse and I broke up?"

        I said his name out loud, but it wasn't easy. As soon as I did, the mental image of his face if he found out Ambrose and I slept together was not a pleasant one. I didn't want to be the reason for that pain.