One Last Time: One More Time

Proposal

Lena

I'm tired of people telling me what I feel isn't real.

But I can't blame them, after all my attitude has always been rather childish.

I joined the Garrisons, because there was nothing else better to do. I just wanted to be lazy, drink, and sleep. I hated the idea of growing up, just because everyone else said that it sucked.

And I believe that.

Especially whenever I saw the Survey Corps come back from an  expedition. I always wondered why they would throw themselves towards those creatures to get eaten, sacrificing themselves for people they didn't even know.

"Who knows, that's what adults do. Don't worry about it."

My friends didn't understand it either and to be honest, I didn't care at all either.

But then, the titans breached Shiganshina.

And I couldn't do anything but watch young children get slaughtered. I was older than them, I should have been able to protect them.

But I couldn't because I'm a coward.

I couldn't, because I saw myself as them. As a defenseless child who wanted to be protected by an adult. I had my gear, I was trained and I could've saved them.

But I didn't. Because just like them I was waiting for someone to save me.

And someone did.

Levi.

At first, I couldn't believe how effortlessly he took down those titans. A  short man like him who was not afraid of  those creatures. He was strong, protecting those who couldn't protect themselves.

And at that moment, I realized that I wanted to be like him.

My childish life with no meaning had become something else. It had a purpose.

Many may think that these feelings I have for him are just admiration and now that I think about it, it may be true. The months I got to spend with him as his assistant just confirmed my feelings.

Slowly, but surely, I began to fall in love with him. Not humanity's strongest soldier,  Captain of the Survey Corps, nor with the hero, but with Levi.

"Don't let that bring you down, Captain Levi is like that with everyone."

It's been a month since I've become Levi's personal assistant and although I haven't really gotten acquainted with him all that well, I did however, get to know Commander Erwin and the new members of the Regiment better.

"I understand it's not my business, but I think everyone can see that you like him ... right?"

I couldn't help the embarrassment that filled me as I looked at him. A conversation about crushes with the Commander of the Survey Corps was the last thing I imagined doing.

"I do, but I just feel like I don't have a chance," I paused. "Because you know Maria-"

"Do you want to know why I picked you to be Levi's personal assistant?"

He changed topics so fast, it took me off guard. I shook my head, I didn't know the answer to that.

"Our most valuable soldiers are the ones that are willing to give up everything for the cause," Erwin said, walking next to me. It was a Friday afternoon and we were done for the day. Both of us on our way to the dining room, hoping to meet with our comrades.