To My Youth [BL]

[14] Silent Moon

𝘈𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦, 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵, 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦. 𝘛𝘩𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭.

People all around were celebrating the Mid-Autumn Festival. Spending time with relatives, going out to restaurants, eating moon cake under a warm light with laughter and smiles. Yet, some spent this festive night alone.

Drinking under the cold sky, working far away, smoking by themselves. It was strange how this day signified family reunion and for people to appreciate the moon in the evening, watching the all-pervading splendour of the grounds. But the moon itself was so far away and desolate.

Gu Xiao rummaged through his shelf in search of his notebooks. His hands brushed past a small album, and it fell onto the floor along with other loose papers.

He bent down to tidy them up, but his eyes were fixated on the photo album from his old high school. Or to be specific, on these two specific people. Wu Fei and He Rong. He didn't know why he hadn't thrown his old school photos out along with the rest of his things.

Wu Fei, He Rong, Gu Xiao, and Zhang Yongyin used to be a tight group back in Shanghai until a certain incident that forced them to drift apart, though it was to be expected since all four of them were trying to come into terms with their problems that they hid away so deeply.

When he stared at the faces he once saw every day, those memories of that stifling classroom resurfaced. Vandalising, whispers, laughters.

When things grew too hard, they gave up. Soon, they disappeared from the world without a word. They scattered like the seagulls in summer, flying further and further away from their hometown. Never to be in reach.

The clouds drifted down, covering the evening sky, and washed the buildings and trees warmly.

Gu Xiao sank into his train of deep thoughts, and soon, his mind drowned in a state of emptiness, as though the tranquil brush of the wind washed and dragged the burdensome memories above the surface.

After discovering that Song Anwen remembered him and Wu Fei from the science competition and the debating team, his presence somewhat frightened him. It appeared he knew more than what he said. What exactly was going through his brain?

He thought back on his conversation with Song Anwen—for one's ego to be so big that they destroy themselves. Sometimes, those who belittle others were due to the birth of jealousy.

Perhaps they suffered from a crucial lack of self-esteem and love and could be their worst critic. Maybe the only validation they received for themselves was to point out the flaws of others to take their attention from their own.

To bring others lower, only so they would appear higher.

Those who belittled others had probably been exacted with their own treatment once in their lives, which simply bred more hate. And that bud of hate that grew towards others only found its way back to stab themselves.

✎✎✎

Gu Heiyu skipped home with satisfaction upon knowing her brother was now attending the compulsory evening study classes after missing them for almost an entire year.

She entered their home. It was dull and messy, the rugs and couch were not even set straight, and clothes were scattered everywhere.

The wooden planks and walls creaked every night, and the windows constantly rattled with the loudest voice from the wind's howls. But within this shabby and old place lived two strangers connected by blood.