Wake Up

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Wake up.

I was surrounded by white walls again, I could hear the heart monitor beeping beside me, and an angelic voice telling me to open my eyes, to let him see my beautiful eyes. I tried, I tried so hard, and I wanted to see who was demanding such a thing until I woke up to the sound of an alarm blaring beside me.

My eyes squinted open, wary of the sunlight hitting me directly in my eyes. Kyungsoo hopped up and shook me until I opened them fully. I stared at him for a brief second to actually make sure I wasn’t dreaming. His smile widened as he saw a smile stretching upon my lips, I mean when you wake up next to the most beautiful human being on earth, that you love and want to protect every single day of your life, you have to smile and thank God that you have someone like that in your life.

I can already smell his mother’s cooking, instead of hurrying to go and scarf down every last bite, I wrapped my arms around Kyungsoo and tackled him into a cuddle. The giggles that erupted from within his soul, left imprints on mine and all I could do was smile and embrace the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. His lips kissed every inch and corner of my face, his hands explored the valleys and mountains of my body, and all I felt in this moment was him and happiness.

“Jongin?” I heard my name whispered from someone other than Kyungsoo and him and I both froze. It’s as if the whole world turned bleach white.

beep beep beep beep

I couldn’t hear her screaming although I saw it in the way her eyebrows furrowed, her mouth wide and releasing probably a horrid sound. Kyungsoo tore away from my grip, or maybe she had yanked him off to get a better aim when she hit me, and believe me when I tell you…she hit, hard.

The thing was I just lay there, not feeling any pain, not feeling one single damn thing. Crystals fell from Kyungsoo’s eyes as he tried to pry my devastated mother away from my body. Kyungsoo’s mom was successful with getting her off of me, and I felt his hands as they gripped my shirt tight. As he peered into my eyes, yelling but all I could hear was the beep of the heart monitor.

Wake up.

Those two little fucking words, it was starting to irritate me now.

I don’t remember walking to a bridge or it being night but as I stand back against the railing to keep me afloat and alive, I see him. I try to run, but how can I run from him. From far away I believe I see my father, dark eyes pinning me in my place. As the figure moves closer and closer, it’s Kyungsoo.

“Jongin, wake up…” He says, standing a few feet away, crying hysterically, and body trembling.

“Kyung-“

“Jongin…please…just wake up.”  

I reach out a hand to try and touch him, comfort him, and ask him what the hell was going on.

That’s when he does it, he pushes me.

I’m invited by the goddess of winter as my body whips around in her rapids, she consumes me, chokes me, my lungs beg her to stop the salt water from burning them. I struggle to surface, grasping at nothing but silver bubbles and what feels like the smoothest air ever known. She breathes me in, but the goddess refuses to let me drift away. Pins and needles stab my fingers and toes, and my mind only knows the color of the deep sea green flooding my vision. Finally I see a light, I kick as fast as I can and reach as far as my arms will to surface, to breathe.

That’s when I wake up. 

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