King of Shadows HIATUS

Chapter 28

Hiccup was sitting at the bon fire with Astrid. The other teens decided to turn in for the night, already exhausted from playing with their new scaly friends. Astrid was leaning on Stormfly and Hiccup new they have to talk. He knew that Astrid wanted to know about that fainting spell he had a month and a half ago. She has been very patient with him but he still wished that he doesn't have to talk.

Astrid took a deep breath, Hiccup was getting ready to answer some questions. As he could feel a bundle of dread settling in his stomach, "thank you, Hiccup" Astrid said. Hiccup was floored. Thank you? what does she mean? Hiccup simply looked at Astrid weird. She saw his confusion and chuckled.

"I mean, thank you for trusting us with this, thank you for letting us in" Astrid said, and Hiccup felt that familiar guilt he has been suppresing come back in full force. No, I dont trust you. Don't smile at me like that. I am lying to you. Is was he wanted to say but, like many times before, he just smiled and said "thank you for waiting, you didn't have to be so patient"

Astrid punched his shoulder, then kissed him on the cheek. Oh, that guilt is growing stronger. Hiccup blushed and he hoped it was enough to hide the overwhelming guilt that is eating him alive. But even with the dread deep in his bones, he still couldn't help but give a lovestruck smile. How could he not, he has been crushing on her for years. "what's that for?" Hiccup asked, desperate to get the conversation going after the brief silence that was filled with the doubts in Hiccups head. He does not want to think right now. Astrid laughed, "again, its for trusting me" she said.

Hiccup knew that trust was important to grow what ever was going on between them, but he can't. The thought of being truly open to anyone that isn't his shadow was daunting and scary. But wanted this, he wanted this so bad, so he said, "you remember when I fainted a month ago" he said, trying to show her that he trust her fully, trying to hide his vulnerabilities.

Astrid's expression turned grim as she nodded, "you never really explained that" she wasn't pushing, not really, but it still felt like it, especially after that kiss. He was weak because of it.

And so Hiccup told her about all the things he noticed looking at the tribe. The pressure of being heir and a twig, two very contradicting roles he has to fit. Astrid was silent and let him vent. The night ended with a hug. And the smile on Astrid's face told Hiccup that she bought his excuses. Hiccup was conflicted, he didn't really lie, the only thing he lied about was the cause of the fainting, he went along with what Gothi told Stoick.
But the rest is true, and he was grateful that he has someone to talk to, Toothless tried but beyond comforting physical contact, he doesn't really understand human heirchy, he doesn't get it.

He was conflicted because this showed that he could trust her, he could trust her with a lot, so what's stopping him?

He was conflicted because he noticed something. He noticed that Astrid was like everyone else in one aspect. She is smart and perceptive. She could find details in a persons body language because she is a good hunter, she is used to reading the body language of animals. But she was also just a human, a human who , once seemingly given or shown what they want, will only look at what's presented to them. Hiccup was vulnerable today, his expression was open in all topics but the one he lied on, it was obvious, but Astrid wanted trust so when Hiccup seemingly served it to her, she never looked beyond it.  Hiccup wanted to trust her with the truth of his mark, but this one little detail made him afraid. What if she didn't let him explain? what if she sees shadows moving to his will and she assumes that he must be a demon and she runs? if she knows then what if she doesn't see Hiccup but only the shadows?

He can't take that chance.
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Hiccup marks his calendar. Today marks 2 months out of his 8 months. He has 6 months left. He checked the garden last night. The corruption didn't spread, it really does only move when it is triggered. This means these 2 months that the time the Silver Tongues aren't here, it slowed his death down. And Hiccup was about to meet with them again.

Dawn was here, the Berkians rose and got ready for departure. Toothless was already in the white king's nest. All these years, Toothless has never been far away, he has always been nearby, ready to help Hiccup. Toothless was a constant comfort. But now that he is really oceans away, even with the shadows he could use to get to him instantly, it felt unsettling.

A knock on the door jolted him out of his ministrations. It was his dad, he seems like he's in a really good mood. After good mornigs the two walked towards the great hall. This is probably the last time he would eat here for months.

Hiccup sat with his friends. They looked somber and sad to see him go, although Hiccup was sure Snotlout was just sad he could go to the bog burglars. They all wanted something, the twins wanted a new assortment of maces and spears, Fishlegs, new book, and new wrapons for the more violent of the bunch.  Astrid even pulled him aside to a secluded area nearby and gave him a kiss on the check with an accompanying punch to the shoulder and a threat to stay alive.

It was very nice.

After an hour reserved for breakfast, the diplomats of berk, Stoick and Hiccup all walked to the docks. Spitelout and Gobber were both put in acting chief duty. Gobber did a dramatic sobbing spiel about Hiccup growing up and sent them on their way.

As Hiccup watch the islands disappear in the distance, he felt hands clasp against his shoulders. He looked up and saw his dad, " you ready Hiccup?"

"as ready as I'll ever be"

which is not at all