Is This Love??? ✔

Chapter 9

A movie Sanjay shot last year is having its premiere and Shiviga receives an official invite. She wasn't going to go, at least not before she called Janarthan to let him know, but then she remembers she doesn't need his permission.
(Besides, they spoke a few days ago, and her and Janarthan don't seem to speak more frequently than once a week these days)

Shiviga walks the red carpet and even though this was what she wanted to step away from, she can't deny she's comfortable here. On a red carpet to a movie premiere in a dress that makes her feel like a princess – this is where she finds her stride. She knows when and where to smile, she waves to the fans, she poses for the cameras. Shiviga is a seasoned pro at this and even if it's not her favourite place in the world to be, she'd rather be here than at a 'retreat' for her fiancee's business associates.
Shiviga can't help but feel a little guilty – like this was breaking her 'one year off' rule she'd set for herself. But she reminds herself that this isn't acting and therefore it still counts as a break. She's gone a good 9 months without 'working' on anything film related. One night out to support her friend's new film is hardly working. She's allowed to be here.
Besides, it's not like there's someone waiting for her at home.

Shiviga is pulled aside by a reporter who she recognizes. She's so swept up in the moment that she responds almost too honestly to a few questions.
They ask about Sanjay. Which makes sense – after all, he's a star of the film. One would think Shiviga would be practiced and poised enough to know exactly what to say in this situation.
One might think that, but they'd be wrong.
She says exactly the wrong thing, and as soon as it's out of her mouth she just knows – several unpleasant conversation are going to come out of this.

******
She comes to the premiere. He sees her in the foyer, dressed in a baby pink satin ball gown that stands out in the crowd and he's stuck again by just how beautiful she is.
She turns to see him, smiles at him with genuine happiness in her eyes. He tells himself to smile back, but realises he already is. He seems to just do that when he's around her – smiles before he can stop himself. It doesn't annoy him like it probably should.
He spends most of his time with her throughout the night. It's the most he's enjoyed one of these bloody affairs in a long time. In fact he finds himself wishing the night wouldn't end.
But it does. And she goes back to her soon-to-be-husband. And Sanjay finds himself miserable once more.
******
Dr. Divya Bharath has been a well-respected therapist used throughout Kollywood since Shiviga's parents were working. She got the woman's phone number from her mother. Shiviga meets with Dr. Bharath once every month, and her next meeting coincidently happens the day after the interview airs.
She's not surprised, and knows the exact conversation they're going to have (unpleasant conversation number one). Shiviga isn't looking forward to it. It was an off-handed comment; it was not supposed to be taken as a confession. But she knew too well, that is exactly how her therapist would take it.
She has a weird obsession with asking her about Sanjay. It's been a recurring theme that she doesn't like to continue to unpack. The doctor explained that Shiviga seemed to talk about him a lot, to which Shiviga responded of course I do, I've done four movies with the guy, he's been a big part of my life. That remark had results in several lines of notes, Shiviga was sure; she absolutely wasn't surprised when she brings up the newest interview.

"I saw that interview last night," she drops in with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, "The one where they asked you about Sanjay."
Shiviga bites down her snarky remark and replies with more calm than she has, "They all ask about Sanjay"
She sees through the obvious attempt at diversion.
"It was an interesting comment you made," the older woman is all dull tones and perfect pronounciation. Shiviga will never achieve that level of perfection, "About how he was someone anyone could fall in love with."
Ok, so it sounded more dangerous when it was taken out of context. The interviewer had asked if Shiviga was surprised that Sanjay had been voted the Most Desirable Man Alive for the fourth year running. She said that she wasn't, that it wasn't surprising at all how many people loved and adored him. Then she had said 'Sanjay is just like that – he's someone that anyone could fall in love with'. See, when it was in context it was totally justified.
Totally.